shanmonster: (On the stairs)
My plague is leaving. Sort of.

Ends up I have a wicked ear infection, so I'm sure hoping the antibiotics kick in, pronto. My balance is off just the teensiest bit, enough to make me look like a tipsy person trying not to look tipsy, and mostly succeeding. The earache of the other night had best not make a return, or I might be pulling a Van Gogh. In the meantime, I have one seriously crappy symphony playing in my ears. The tinnitus needs some music lessons. The crackling and whistling is quite noisome.

I've had perverse cravings to do handstands, but have been resisting them on account of putting my head down throws everything off kilter and just plain feels terrible. I went in to the gym yesterday and was able to climb the ropes without any difficulty, a few low-weight squats, presses, and deadlifts, but one-legged bodyweight squats were a bit too much for my weakened lungs, and I knew it was time to pack it up and go home. I simply cannot exert myself much, right now. Bah, I say. Bah. Regardless, tomorrow is aerial silks day. If I can climb a rope, I should be able to climb the silks.

Today was terribly unproductive, but I don't mind too much. I got a huge amount of work done the other day, so I think I can bank those hours for today, so to speak.

I just put in an order for a bunch of new knee-high socks from Sock It To Me, which is the first online sock shop I've found which doesn't charge an exorbitant amount to ship to Canada. Hallelujah! Apparently, I have the reputation at my CrossFit club as the one in the funky socks. I'm ok with that. I've always liked wacky hosiery. I like wearing long socks to the gym, because they protect my calves from getting rope burn on all those rope climbs I like to do.

I took a picture today of my guns before all this inactivity has my wee muscles fall off.

[Mini gun show]

Link Dump

Nov. 1st, 2010 09:31 am
shanmonster: (Default)
I'm tired and hurt, sign of a LARP weekend.

Link time.

Banana Almond Quinoa: This looks tasty. Maybe I'll have some for breakfast this morning.
EDIT: I just made this, and am disappointed. It smelled good, but the texture and flavour are lacking. The quinoa is too hard, and the banana feels like boogers. I won't be making this again.

Top 10 Insane Anti-Masturbation Devices in History: "Many horrible, inhumane products were patented in the early late 19th and early 20th century to help prevent masturbation or 'self abuse' as it was called: products range from a mini spiked bear trap for penises to the invention of Graham crackers."

WHEN BAD TASTES GOOD: DISCOVERY OF TASTE RECEPTORS IN THE LUNGS COULD HELP PEOPLE WITH ASTHMA BREATHE EASIER: The title is in all-caps, so you know it's important. Seriously, though, this could be the next big thing in asthma treatments. I'm looking forward to more findings (thanks, [ profile] f00dave).

Lemon Poppy Seed Muffins: I made these on Friday, and they're pretty good. Definitely mighty in the lemon flavouring, but they call for 3/4 cup of lemon juice. Woo!

Spanish Prostitutes Ordered To Wear Safety Vests: "Spanish prostitutes have been ordered to wear reflective safety vests for their own safety, according to reports. Women working on rural roadsides in Catalonia must don the vests to avoid a €40 ($56) fine."

Bukkake Milk: Uh, what? Sorta SFW, I guess.

Tubeless Toilet Paper Isn't the Answer to Waste, Not Using Toilet Paper Is: I'd love to have a bidet. Someday.....

A Beautiful Tragedy: Looks like an interesting documentary on the creation of Russian prima ballerinas.

Pumpkin Butter: This looks yummy. I want to make it.
shanmonster: (Tiger claw)
I don't use much salt in my cooking. I put a little on my steamed eggs, but don't keep a salt shaker on the table. I also don't add salt to any of my cooking (baking notwithstanding), but rely on herbs for flavouring. For the past week or so, I've been craving salty foods: nachos, popcorn, salted peanuts, etc. I've not given into the cravings, but found them out of character. I talked to Syndi, and she said it could be because of a potassium deficiency. So I did a bit of research, and she's right. It could very well be that and/or adrenal exhaustion. Yesterday, I had a banana first thing in the morning, and lo and behold, I had no more salty snack cravings.

Is it psychosomatic, or am I actually low on potassium? Either way, eating more broccoli and bananas isn't going to hurt me, so I'll be amending my shopping list this week to include more potassium-rich fruits and vegetables.

There may be a connection between potassium deficiency, adrenal exhaustion, and my use of asthma medication. Ugh.

I've been scaling back my intake of Symbicort. I was already at less than the pediatric dose (just one puff in the morning), but now I have been drinking a big cup of coffee in the morning, instead. Coffee is a bronchodilator, and if it will do the trick instead of Symbicort, I'm going to try that instead. Symbicort has a few nasty side effects, including increased risk of death due to asthma, ironically enough. Another side effect is hypokalemia, or potassium deficiency, and yet another is calcium depletion. Osteoporosis runs in my family, and I have the classic build of someone prone to it. My teeth are constantly crumbling to bits, and I would not at all be surprised if the puffer is one of the causes of this.

Reading through the side effects makes me raise my eyebrows. There are quite a few of the side effects that I've been experiencing. Is it purely coincidental, or because of my medication? I don't know.

I will continue to use Symbicort, however, when I get sick and/or my breathing becomes laboured. I carry a puffer with me when I leave the house. I'm trying the caffeine thing as a control. I still have a bit of a cough in the morning, but honestly, it is no worse than usual, and this despite it being September, which is a notoriously bad month for asthmatics.

My distrust of pharmaceuticals grows almost daily. I'd so much rather regulate my health through proper diet and exercise than through pills and inhalants. Ever since my early twenties, I've been doing my best to increase and maintain my bone density through natural means. In my early twenties, I did a lot of high-impact exercises to increase bone density. After 25, I cut back on the high-impact exercises because of diminishing returns, and switched to low- and medium-impact exercises. I try to eat a lot of calcium-rich foods (eg. dairy, sardines), and I continue to exercise like a fiend.

That being said, I just took an ibuprofen capsule because I woke up with cramps, and they're just not going away. Gah. Sometimes you gotta do whatcha gotta do.

Fear of decrepitude continues to be one of my strongest motivators.

In other news, I have switched my workout routine around yet again. I think my current plan is a good one, and I'll make minor tweaks here and there.

Here's what I did yesterday:

A brisk walk to and from the gym (pretty much par for the course, and makes a good warm-up).
Full jumping jacks: 200, broken into 4 sets of 50
Plank: 90 seconds each for front plank, straight-armed side plank, and straight-armed reverse plank. I put these in between each set of jumping jacks.
Kick squat: 30. I need to increase these. I do a full low squat, all the way to the floor, and am sure to chamber my front kicks.
Dragons: 30. I need to increase these, too.
Unassisted pull-ups: 3. I definitely need to increase these, but this will take time. Two years ago, I couldn't even do one.

Each of the following are broken into three sets of ten repetitions.

Front squat: 60 lbs on an Olympic bar (45 lbs, I believe)
Romanian deadlift: 70 lbs on an Olympic bar
Dumbbell bench press: 20 lbs
Bent over barbell row: 50 lbs
Arnold press: 17.5 lbs
Bench dip: 30 (these were too easy, so I need to find a way to make them trickier, but not impossible)
Reverse grip barbell bicep curl: 20 lbs for first two sets, then 30 lbs for final, almost impossible, set.
Captain's chair leg raise: 30, total
Decline bench crunches with chain punching: 30, total
Seated calf raises: 360 lbs

Normally, I would add back extensions and poi practice to the mix, but my lower back has a pulled muscle in it from moving just wrong while taking eggs out of the fridge a while back. As a result, I took exceptional care with my form, so as not to make the pain any worse.

Normally, I'd also add poi practice to my warm up, but the gym was crazy busy, and there was no room for me to practice.

A couple of guys were doing calf raises while I waited for them to do their sets. They were each using 110 lbs, and obviously straining with it. When they were finished, they started to take the weights off, and I said, "Oh, just leave 'em, thanks. I need to stack more." I have to admit, I snuck a peek at them while I was lifting 360 lbs, and got a bit chuffed by their raised eyebrows. My legs have super powers. *grin*

On my off days, I want to do cardio and/or yoga/Pilates.
shanmonster: (Default)
Three hits off the asthma bong and a cup of coffee, and my lungs still feel like they're doing Kegels. Grr.

I didn't get to the gym yesterday. I was too busy with sewing and housework. I'll go today, once my chest doesn't feel so tight.

Link time.

What the…? Cool exercises you’ve probably never seen before: Exercises from the early days of Muscle Beach.

Norwegian Boy Saves Sister from Moose Thanks to World of WarCraft: Video games give real life skills?

This Bendable Bike Can Tie Itself to a Lamp Post: No lock necessary.

In Vitro Habitat: a House Made of Meat!
: No word on whether or not David Cronenberg wants a domicile like this.

Listen to YouTube: You can turn the audio from a YouTube video into an mp3 with this resource (thanks, [ profile] knightky).

Dear Drunk Me: Assessing the after effects of a bender.

Nanny, 30, died from sexual arousal while watching pornography: I feel sorry for the woman's family/friends after this article came out. Also, I think the cat did it.

Wild Cat Found Mimicking Monkey Calls; Predatory Trickery Documented for the First Time in Wild Felids in Americas: One of my cats started calling my sister's name once, when I was calling her to tell her the school bus was on its way. Cats can mimic. I think they just don't do it often.

VersaGripps: These look really handy for my weight training. I wish they weren't so pricey.
shanmonster: (On the stairs)
The smog is trying to kill me. My lungs are seized right up, and I sound a bit like Harvey Fierstein because of it. Stupid bad air. Stupid lungs. But I'm going to attempt the gym again today, anyway. Just in a few hours, when my puffer has had a chance to percolate more. Also, black coffee. That might help do the bronchiodilator thing. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

On the plus side, I went to my first Pride event this past weekend. It was the biggest parade I've ever been to, ever. Also the hottest. Toronto was a kiln, and I spent little time in the shade. I drank enough water, juice, pop, tea, cappuccinos, freezies, Gatorade, etc. (anything wet and icy when it's that hot) to sink a battleship, and look like I vacationed in Hawaii. Even though I wore lots of sunscreen, I'm all brown. I'm not pleased I drank so much crap, but again, if it's cold and wet, I will drink it, even if it's full of sugar and glucose/fructose. I even shelled out money for bottled water, and I have ethical issues with paying money for water in Canada--especially water imported from across the ocean.

I also walked. And walked. AND WALKED AND WALKED AND WALKED. And danced. Oh yes. And now my legs are made of iron. They're hard as rock and have some serious muscle definition going on. I'm quite pleased with them, and am going to step up the workouts even more to continue the trend.

This is me today. Hi.

[Bang bang]

If my faulty lungs will allow it, I'm adding the following exercises to my daily routine. They can be done at home, and require no equipment.

I'm working my way back to doing one-legged squats again. I'm scared. They hurt so bad....

Pride was a whole lot of awesome, excruciating heat notwithstanding. More on that later....
shanmonster: (Default)
I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever be healthy again. Chest cold + asthma + lung infection = hell. Still, I feel better than I did two nights ago, and it doesn't hurt to breathe anymore. I just feel weak and trembly like a newborn foal or something. Neigh.

I watched Chocolate last night. Those people are crazy. I don't know how they didn't all die during the filming. How is it that dozens didn't die with those stunts? Also, autistic martial artist versus palsied martial artist? Really?

So now I eat cheese and work on a story. Not much good for anything else, at the moment. Blargh.

shanmonster: (Liothu'a)
Lord Byron: "I love the language, that soft bastard Latin, Which melts like kisses from a female mouth."

I want to narrate the entire works of Catullus. I think it will be good speaking practice, as I find the words to be very tricky to say. After that? I dunno. Maybe Ovid.

Today's Catullus excerpt is Fletus Passeris Lesbiae. That's what I sound like with a chest cold and asthma. Kinda hot. Ha.

I'm still sick, but I'm not dead yet.

Here are some links for your enjoyment.

Giger Wedding Cake: I wish this had been my wedding cake (thanks, Kutulu).

Miley Cyrus' little sister the new face of kiddie 'lingerie' line: Yeah.

Man hurt after homemade rocket explodes during party stunt: This looks so much like something one of my friends might do.

Axe Cop: Epic comic strip written by a five-year-old and illustrated by a grown-up (thanks, [ profile] chernobylred).
shanmonster: (Default)
My lungs are trying to kill me.

My chest feels like a coal-filled wood stove wearing a belt that's too tight.
shanmonster: (Default)
So maybe the cold isn't leaving. Maybe it's just mutating. I am no longer human. Yes, forget werewolves. I am a werehouse. Or maybe I am a university campus. I am now at the stage where my lungs feel like a furnace turned low. My chest is the heating plant. My throat is the science building, or the centre for cultural studies. And my nose is the cafeteria. What else do you call the place where the workers ladle out the corn chowder? Ugh. I'd like to drop out of school, please. Or at least opt out of the meal plan.

And enough of that analogy.

Hi! How ya doin'?

I spent a few hours sprawling in my bed last night, reading Beowulf by Caitlin Kiernan. I hadn't realized, when I first got the book, that it was a retelling of the Neil Gaiman/Rogery Avary movie (which I didn't particularly like). When I found out, I was disappointed. Novelizations of movies just suck. Usually. This one is pretty good. I prefer it to the movie. My qualm is that she is pretty reliant on adverbs, but then again, so am I until I clean 'em out of my writing with the nit-comb of ruthless editing. So who am I to judge? No one, that's who!

The story does make me want to go dig up John Gardner's Grendel again, which I read in my second year of university and fell in love with.

My love is fickle, apparently. I'd best go and revisit that little monster of a book.

Today, I ordered a copy of the Victoria's Secret catalogue in for Tasselhoff the cat. If she doesn't like it, I'll look at it.

Links? Ok.

Links AND interesting video? Ok, redux!

Hewitt likes 'vagazzling' her genitals: So apparently she affixes Swarovski crystals all around her vajayjay. Why? No clue. Personally, I think it sounds awfully fucking uncomfortable. Though it must give her gynecologist a special thrill come pap test season.

Shrink Geek: Health and fitness for geeks. Level up in 2010.

Pat Robertson links Haiti quake to pact with devil: "The U.S. televangelist says Haiti's calamities derive from a purported pact rebellious slaves made in the 18th century to overthrow the French. Robertson's TV show later issues a statement." And now you know.

Terminally-ill volunteer sought for mummification on Channel 4: "Fulcrum is not offering any payment for the project, other than to meet costs. 'The advice from our compliance lawyers is that it would be wrong to offer payment.'" Because anything else would be ethically questionable, right?

Now, watch these two videos in order....

And now it is time for me to eat breakfast and once again tackle the costuming challenge.

Ta ta for now!
shanmonster: (Default)
Man. I feel like a bag of smashed assholes.

But I still have some links for you.

Stray dogs master the subway: Apparently, they've also figured out traffic lights, too. Hmm.

Do Not Click This: NSFW. I'm warning you (blame [ profile] tailchaser).

The Sun Is Trying to Kill Me: I'd really like this shirt.

In the Old Days We Made Our Own Fun: Children's activities from 19th-century kids' books. Guaranteed to get you expelled from any school.

Ok. Back to tent repair I go.
shanmonster: (Dance Monkey Dance!)
So I performed tonight, and although my energy wasn't quite where it should have been, I kicked ass anyhow. Not bad, considering my lungs are utter shite today. I can fake looking healthy, sometimes. Today is one of those days.

[Post Boathouse]
shanmonster: (On the stairs)
My voice has been gone since very early on Sunday morning. I can only make squeaking sounds. I sure hope it comes back soon, because teaching dance class without a voice is a special sort of challenge I don't want to repeat. I've been sick for over two weeks now, and it's getting really old. I haven't been to the gym in about three weeks, and I'm starting to go to seed. Gah!

I have a butoh/contemplative dance workshop on Sunday. I sure hope I'm up to four hours of dance by then....

Link time? Sure.

Ultimate Praying Championship: Irreverent, and funny, because it's true (thanks, [ profile] gha5t).

Giant Blob Tumbleweeds: Come for the tumbleweeds, and stay for the steampunk. Cool stuff, as always.

Totalitarian Architecture of the Third Reich: I must admit, I really like this stripped-down version of classical architecture. It's just so imposing and grand.

Gov. Tells Man: “You Can’t Marry, You’re A Woman!”: What happens when paperwork gets mixed up. Amazingly enough, [ profile] f00dave was a woman for quite some time. His driver's license declared him thus, and when we got married, the JP flubbed her lines and said to me, "Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" My response, "Uh, sure."

'Boy Weds Dog To Avoid Indian Tiger Death': No word on whether or not the wedding must be consummated. Ye gads.

Lego Pharaoh floats down River Thames: What would Queen Elizabeth I have thought?

Bacon and Cheese Stuffed Pizza Burger: Oh god. This horrifies me so much.

Flaming Balls of Shit: One of the absolute funniest things I've ever read. READ IT!

shanmonster: (Default)
Ever since the Ventolin masking, I've been producing ectoplasm. Anyone want a séance?

I think I'm going to nap now. Ugh.



Feb. 16th, 2009 11:55 pm
shanmonster: (Shh...)
My lungs hurt, and my puffer just isn't doing the trick. I guess I'll go into the hospital in the morning to see if a Ventolin mask will fix me up.

Fuck, but I hate those things.

Blow it Off

Jun. 6th, 2008 05:32 pm
shanmonster: (Sigh....)
I had an appointment with a respirologist today. Biking there was helluva hard. It's a hot, smoggy day out there, and the heat is downright oppressive. Yet despite the formidable effort I expended travelling a mostly level distance, my lungs measured out pretty good. It would seem I am doing an admirable job at policing my lungs. In fact, when I did my lung capacity check, I came out normal (as in normal, non-asthmatic lungs normal). Of course, I still don't feel completely normal. I do have a residual cough, which presents me with occasional treasures from deep within my chest. But this is much to be preferred to the fruitless coughing that seemed to serve no other purpose than to almost jettison my eyeballs from their sockets.

I was told not to run today. Meh.

But I am going to go teach my dance class.

I shall run tomorrow, or this evening, after the heat has diminished and the smog has given up the ghost.

[LSD]Tomorrow, I'm off to London to see the last Ontario leg of the Left Spine Down tour. If you're in the London area, make sure you check 'em out. They're playing at Call the Office (216 York Street) with Robin Black. These guys really know how to put on a show.

And now I must go teach people how to raise and lower their hips....
shanmonster: (Default)
My website has been down for over a month with no firm word on when it will be reappearing.

Does any kind soul out there want to donate server space? My site is rather enormous, and receives a fair bit of traffic.


In other news, my lungs are relaxing somewhat, and I am now able to go for a decent walk without running out of steam.

Tonight will be the big test, as I'll be teaching a dance class. I'm a bit worried about teaching chest drops....
shanmonster: (Dance Monkey Dance!)
Lungs are somewhat better, after three go-rounds with the Ventolin mask, and two additional prescriptions on top of my regular steroid puffer. I shall be medicated to the gills this week. And hopefully, there will be a dramatic improvement within the next couple of days. When I came out of the hospital, I was shaking like I had Parkinson's. Eesh.

My faulty lungs have put a kibosh on my plans to attend the dance workshop this weekend. I won't be seeing Johnny Hollow, either. I won't be running, biking, or fighting. I'll be parking myself on my ass, or maybe going for a very pokey mosey through the park.

Bah, I say. BAH!

But you know what? Left Spine Down and H-427 shot me full of enough adrenaline and endorphins that I was able to bop around like a hardcore Tigger in three cities over three nights without breathing. That's gotta count for something. Mwah!

Stay tuned for a review of my mini tour. And if you're into Montreal, Ottawa, or London, make damned sure you go see these guys!
shanmonster: (Default)
Despite not really being able to breathe for the last three days, I've had a terrific time with the Left Spine Down / H-427 tour (photos here). But this morning I'm off to the hospital to get my lungs rebooted. Wish me luck.

[Me, Amelia, and H-427 at The Circus Room]


May. 9th, 2008 08:24 am
shanmonster: (Tiger claw)
My lungs feel like a bouquet being held too tightly at the bottom. It's crushing the stems and making the flowers wilt, damnit. My energy levels are way down. All I've been doing this week, it seems, is napping or sitting on my ass. I want to get back to dance and kung fu classes next week, but I'm not so sure my lungs will comply. Nevertheless, I did go for a decent walk yesterday, some calisthenics and my seniors' dance class the day before, and a run the day before that. I teach dance tonight. And I want to go for another run. Maybe I'll get some dance practice in today. Let's see how that goes.

Dancing. Yeah. I want to do a lot more of that. I recently got a copy of Ariellah's drilling DVD, and am eager to give it another try.


Wow. I just remembered it's my anniversary this month (14th!). Umm, [ profile] f00dave, what do you want to do for it? My weekends are full, but I have a raincheck for plans I've been making for some time.


My tabs are filling up again. Have some tasty links.

Steampunk Star Wars: I'm pretty sure I linked to this before, but [ profile] papajoemambo's post made me want to link to it again. You know what I want to see? Steampunk renditions of other 70s pop culture: Diff'rent Strokes, Jabberjaws, Towering Inferno, etc.

Plantimals: Corns have ears. Potatoes have eyes. These have, well....

My Beautiful Mommy: Children's book about plastic surgery.

50 Greatest Commercial Parodies of All Time: Cute.

The Ultimate Showdown of Homosexuality: NSFW. Just as brilliant as The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny, but far more nekkid.

Katar Gallery: These are some almighty gorgeous daggers, and if I still had the facilities, I'd make one for myself.

Smell Yo Dick: Oh, pop music. How I love you so.
shanmonster: (Tiger claw)
Can anyone explain to me why Paris Hilton is on the cover of the newest National Geographic magazine? I find myself strangely irked, despite already being aware of the magazine's less than stellar reputation for anthropology and other ologies.

Why is the F key on my new keyboard so sticky? It feels like there's syrup on it, and I can't imagine why.

The Ministry show was a blast. And even though I was wearing spectacles and was still frightfully sick with my third cold of the season (grr...), I ended up in the mosh pit for "So What". I wore my leather jacket, despite the formidable heat. I considered it training for this summer's LARP season where I'll be running around in armour. I drenched myself in my own sweat, but the jacket prevented the sweat of the unwashed others from tainting my dainty flesh. When my eye glasses floated off my head and I just managed to snatch them back from certain doom, I decided to vacate the pit and watched the rest of the show from stage right. I had an excellent view of the show from the rear, and without anyone jostling me at all. I even got to lean on a security rail. Did you know that twenty guitars were used during the show? I learned it from my vantage point, where the guitars were stabled much like horses in little guitar stalls.

I suspect Ministry is soon to be no more because Al is looking remarkably like Ozzie, now. Eep.

Meshuggah did a kick-ass show, too, and I stayed just on the outside edge of the roiling mosh pit for their set.

This Sunday, I'm off to yet another metal show: Kill Switch Engage and Poison the Well. I blush to say I'm not terribly familiar with either band (although I enjoy KSE's cover of "Holy Diver").

And the next week is the KW Metalfest, where I'll be working the show as security and gofer. You should come to the festival. Really.


The other night, Rooster came to visit me from Toronto. We went to [ profile] schwartzung's place and I refereed a few battles between the two of 'em. No injuries were sustained because of the boffer brawls, but somehow, mysteriously, both Rooster and [ profile] snowy_kathryn sustained tendon pulls. It is a mystery.

Rooster and Schwartzung also endeavoured to teach Kathryn, Amelia, and I more hand signals for the future success of our military LARPing careers.

I still need a lot of work.


My cold still plagues me in the form of that goddamned, pesky, persistent asthma constriction of doom. I'm waiting for my lungs to stop bearing down like a woman in labour. Grr.


Links? Ok.

Ape Genius reveals depth of animal intelligence: "Anthropologist Jill Pruetz believes she has made a landmark discovery - a species other than humans learning - and passing on - the skills to make a lethal weapon." The monkey wars are nigh.

German group patents 'smell-phone': Prank calls will hit a new low with the ability to transmit farts....

Haptic Heart Beats You To Sleep: Is this a new feature on RealDolls yet?

Yeah. Gotta sleep. Lungs want to kill me.

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