Welcome to Hicksville

Why do I keep needing to pee, today? Argh. And why was I awoken at 5:30 am with the girly cramps of doom? I can feel them bursting to come out of their medicated bondage, as I type, but the meds are holding them in submission. Here's hoping they continue to do so.

I had a recollection of something my neighbour did when I was a kid. When I lived in the country, one of my neighbours didn't have much to keep himself occupied, so one of his favourite pastimes was to sit out on his deck with a rifle in hand, waiting for an unlucky coyote to show itself. He'd shoot as many as he could, and boast about his kills.

One Hallowe'en, he decorated the big maple tree by the road with dead coyotes, hung by the neck. Another was propped up by his mailbox, dressed like a ghost. Its throat was slit and blood ran down the sheet. My neighbour thought it was funny, but I don't know if anyone else did. Certainly all the kids on our schoolbus thought it was just plain gross.

My Dad, who agreed that the coyotes (feral dogs, really) had to be kept under control. They were killing pets and livestock, and threatening people. But he was unimpressed that their corpses were treated in such a cavalier fashion.

After a bit of a community meeting, the coyote corpses were removed.

A couple of years later, another neighbour started doing the same thing. I think the coyote hung until it rotted down.

And he wondered why bears kept coming around. Sheesh....

Vacation

I'm trying to schedule time off for two disparate events: Midori's workshops in May and the Bellydance Superstars show and workshop in March. The former I'd go to with f00dave, and the latter with littlekeltie.

Think I'll get the time off?

Check It Out

Time for a limited link dump. Whee!

If you were an evil dictator, how would you want to take over the world? Stalin tried to do it with half-man, half-ape super-warriors!

Researchers Find Barbie Is Often Mutilated: I know I certainly tortured my fashion dollies. I liked to stick pins under their fingernails, carve them up with knives, and burn them at the stake. The article says that kids who do this are merely destroying a no-longer-wanted toy (basically, because they were growing out of playing with dolls). In my instance, it was because I liked playing torture the spy and reinacting the burning of Joan of Arc....

Russian 'beast' proves a giant obstacle for Ruiz: I think I've developed a crush on this guy. Look at him! Holy crapsicle (thanks, zombienought)!

They tried to send me home early, tonight. I said no, because I'm being a good girl.

Presents of Mind

Christmas was a time I dreaded. So was Hallowe'en and St. Valentine's Day. Other holidays weren't so bad, because they generally didn't involve gift and card exchanges.

After Christmas, the kids at school would ask me what loot I got, and I'd always say, "Nothing." After all, Christmas was "against my religion." And I always said that, too. I never said it was against my beliefs--always that it was against my religion.

Sometimes, kids told me that they'd give me Christmas presents, but when they found out I wasn't allowed to give them anything in return, they'd change their minds.

At Valentine's, kids would give me little cards, and then act hurt when I didn't reciprocate. I wasn't allowed to give out Valentine cards. It was against my religion. So was eating the heart-shaped cookies and candies brought in by the teacher. I'd go and sit at the back of the class during the parties and eat my molasses sandwich and pretend I didn't care that I was being left out.

Hallowe'en was more of the same.

So I made up my own holidays. Instead of giving presents (I had no money for that), I'd cook up feasts for my animals. Dogfood soup was a great favourite of my geese, dogs, cats, and chickens. They'd gather around impatiently, waiting for their tasty repast.

And I'd write lots and lots of letters to my enormous collection of penpals. In my way, I was blogging before there was such a thing. My letters were the equivalent of my daily posts, filled with thoughts and ephemera. I may not have been popular at school, but I was a big hit with people who'd never met me. Heh....

I celebrate Christmas now. Not because of religious beliefs, but because I just plain like giving and receiving presents. I loved seeing the look on my little niece's face when she realized what the whoopee cushion could do. And I like opening a gift and finding an excellent book or CD. I like the process of finding just the right thing to make someone smile.

And I like candy and dressing up, so Hallowe'en is as good an excuse as any to give in to my urges.

Not that it stops me any other time....