The Said Banana

[shanmonster]

For the first time, work was interesting. I got to practice at least a little bit of my first aid skills.

Early this morning, a mentally handicapped woman had a bad fall while waiting in line. I think she tripped over someone's foot. She did a face plant, and laid on her belly howling in pain. I ran over from behind the counter, got her calmed down and lying still, and found out where she was injured. Her mouth was bleeding pretty bad, and I think her arm was broken. I was relieved by another first aider shortly thereafter, then made sure the EMTs had been called, and then I ran and got the first aid kit and cleaned the blood off the floor.

Then I washed up and went back to serving coffee.

I felt sorry for the poor woman. She's one of our regulars, and was obviously in a lot of pain. I hope she's ok.

I was commended for my speedy response by the manager, but it's not like I did much. I hope that after I get my Class C first aid certification later this month that I can volunteer with St. John Ambulance as an instructor and get a lot more training and experience. I hate feeling helpless/useless when someone gets hurt.

And then on my lunchbreak, I discovered an unintentionally-hilarious essay a co-worker had written and left on the table. I've excerpted the best part, warts and all:

A Few Words on Pansexuality

Homophobia is a bad word as bad as Homosexual, Hetrosexual, Bisexual and so on and so forth.

The term is derived from our closest primate cousins, the bonobo monkeys. Incidently, the phraze 'make love not war' is also attributed to the bonobos. If for instance, two bonobos want the same banana, instead of being aggressive and fighting over said banana, they are more likely to make love (have sex) and then share the said banana--if only we could follow their example more closely, we would all be better off.

And now for your daily link dose:


Designer creates floating bed: If you have lots of piercings, I don't recommend you hide under this bed.

Woman comes home to find house cleaned: Stuff like this never happens to me (thanks, gha5t).

Obsessive Compulsive Cat: Floosh.

The Autistic Human Camera: This guy is amazing.

Sexy Lean Latrine: Not your everyday urinal (possibly NSFW).

Comments

[hprynne.livejournal.com]

Excellent links!

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Glad you enjoyed them!

[icedrake.livejournal.com]

I was with the Kithener brigade for a while. To be given an instructor position, you will need to have instructor certification. I can't recall if it goes Standard->Advanced->Instructor or Standard->Instructor. And Instructor, other than being a full five days, is bloody expensive. It was $600 last I looked at taking the course. Here's the St John's page (http://www.sja.ca/english/health_safety_training/instructor_dev/), though it contains precious little detail.

But then, the brigade does offer training of its own, or did back in '01.

(Of course, if I'm confused and you're taking the far-more-advanced first aid course, then I'll look really really stupid :)

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

The information I saw says that if you volunteer as an instructor, they'll give you the necessary training free of charge. You first need to have your Class C, and that's what I'm getting. I'd have finished my Class C certification last month, but I was having a bad asthma day, and knew that there was no way I could do a day of CPR when just basic breathing was difficult.

[icedrake.livejournal.com]

I stand (sit) corrected.

[sorceror.livejournal.com]

Magnetic bed?

Wouldn't the magnetic force needed to keep it floating distort your cells & give you cancer, or something?

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Probably. Everything is carcinogenic.

[fourcorners.livejournal.com]

You always have the most interesting encounters, human and animal