Latin folks!

[shanmonster]

I spent the last hour and a half trying to compose some poetry in Latin. I'm willing to bet it's dog Latin (mutt Latin, at that), because my grasp of the language is tenuous.

But if your grasp is decent, can you scan this and tell me if it makes sense?

Eruo

Miser perturbatio, miser quemadmodum.
Exanimus mihi.
Vindici, transporto meus mucro amor.
Talionis cum meus gladius imbibo meus cruorem.

Comments

[alagbon.livejournal.com]

What?!? My mother was a saint!

[goth-hobbit.livejournal.com]

I think I have an idea, but if you have it down in English, I can help you knock it into proper shape. Alternate possibilities are in parentheses. What I've got is:

Overthrow (destroy)

Wretched disturbed people, wretched in what way.
Dead, I am.
Defender (protector), transport my beloved sword point.
Retaliation when my sword drinks in (assimilate) my own blood.


Another possibility is:

To pluck

Wretched passion , wretched how.
Lifeless me.
Avenger , send my sword's point love.
Retribution when my sword imbibe my blood.

Like I said, if you have an English version of what you're composing, let me know and I can help knock it into Latin.