Tea Time

I'm about to have a cup of tea. Tea is my hot beverage of choice, whether it's herbal or caffeinated. This morning, I'm going to have a cup of Cocoa Spice with milk and brown sugar. It tastes like cookie in a cup. Unfortunately, this particular kind of tea is expensive, weighing in at about $6 per box. It's made by Yogi Tea, who also make Egyptian Licorice Tea, which is also very yummy. The website includes a recipe for an Egyptian Licorice Smoothie which I just might make for an apres-kung fu snack tonight.

I harbour jealousy for you American tea drinkers, because Yogi Tea offers free samples to American addresses. I'd love to try out all of the flavours which aren't available in Canada.

Now, lest you think I'm on Yogi Tea's payroll, everything isn't all roses. I think their Classic India Spice is overpowering in taste. Although I like cinnamon, this tea has far too much of it.

This message has been brought to you by by flavour- and tannin-craving tastebuds.

Beauty Disillusions

I grow a moustache. It isn't something I've always had, but the older I get, the more I get hairs where there were no hairs before. Up until my late twenties, there were no hairs. Sure, I had the practically microscopic hairs that pretty much everyone has on their face, but they weren't any larger than that on my upper lip. But the closer I got to 30, the longer these microscopic hairs began to grow.

Over the last couple of years, they've also begun to darken. I figure that by the time I'm forty, if I'm so inclined, I will be able to grow myself a respectable handlebar moustache.

( But I'm not so inclined. )

A Dress: The Issue

Remember how I said there were some gowns going up for sale? Well, I found pictures of two of 'em taken by f00dave. They're not the best pictures for demonstrating the design, but I thought you might want to have a look, anyhow.

The first of the dresses is a floorlength sheath dress of soft silver velvet with a shirred purple bust. The photos don't show this, being black and white and all. It fits me just right, and I'm about 5'9" with 34-27-37 measurements. The dress could accomodate someone a bit larger or smaller just fine. [Photo 1 | Photo 2].

The next dress is another floorlength one of purple velvet with lots and lots of froofy tulle. It has a low, open back which is not visible in the photo. Although it's long enough, this dress won't zip up on me. I'm too big! It should fit someone with about a 24" or 25" waist or smaller. Because of the style, hips can either be nonexistant or gargantuan. The colour in the photo is true. [Photo].

If you're interested in the dresses, or have questions about them, let me know! Make me an offer, and I'll tack on the shipping charges.

If you liked those photos, f00 has plenty more you can look at right here.

Penis Spam

( Penis Spam )

Rib Update

I am pleased to announce that after less than a week of very sporadic practice, I can now move either side of my ribcage independantly. It looks freaky as hell. I'm sure this talent will prove to be important, and may someday even save someone's life.

Now, I'd better go nab myself some food, before I become nothing but ribcage.

Time For Some Linkage

Breakfast was delicious. I jammed fresh ginger, a whack of strawberries, a mango, some soya milk, and a scoop of ice cream into the blender and drank the frothy results. Mmmm.... And I had yet another cup of tea, after recycling my teabag from earlier. My stomach is a marble cake of hot and cold, of fruit and spice. My stomach is happy.

And now for the promised links....

When I grow up, I want to be Dorothy Parker.

Fat female thieves on the run: Plus-sized women are knocking over shops for petite fashions.

Bitter Waitress Shitty Tipper Database: Personally, I don't see anything wrong with Natalie Portman's $3 tip on a $27 order.

Monica Bellucci: Why I Posed Naked: Is it just me, or is this a ridiculous reason to bring a child into the world? "Bellucci explained she decided to become a mother because she was tired of her body and that she found it ridiculous that her breasts and stomach should still be the same as they were when she was 18 and even though she had lived and changed, her body had not. It was then she realized that her breasts did not just exist to fill evening gowns, the time had come for them to fulfill their true destiny." If she was really and truly tired of her body the way it is, she could just start pigging out on Haagen Daaz or go in for some body modification. You can see the nekkid picture here.

Working Lego Guitar: I'll bet that sucker is heavy (thanks, snowy_kathryn).

Cane or breast for naughty pupils: Someone's fantasy has come true.

Foreign Strippers Must Supply Nude Stage Photos to Officials: Want a career in ogling naked dancers? Work for Canada's Immigration department!

Cornelius dentist accused of making patients swallow semen: He used a syringe to do it, which puts a whole new meaning to "needle dick."

Simpler pump boosts failing hearts: The weird thing about this story is that people outfitted with these artificial hearts have no pulses.

While I go bake a blueberry pie, ( take a look at this dangerous kung fu kitten. )