I Made it Back

I made it back from Montréal around 2:00 this morning. I spent almost the entire day in bed, just recovering. I didn't get very much sleep at all, and I have a pseudo-megrim. Lights and sounds pierce my skull with the precision of an ice pick wielded by an inebriated orangutan. But that didn't stop me from stocking up on a few links. Check these out. I'll write of my adventures later.

Dutch Consider Ban on Toe Licking: Uhh....

Wedding guests eat victim: Is this a modern example of the curse of the house of Atreus? The story is just so darned mythological in scope!

Speaking of Greek tragedy: Greek Tragedy: Judo Champ, Boyfriend Jump Off Balcony.

480-Pound Woman Dies After Six Years On Couch: " Emergency workers had to remove some sliding glass doors and lift the couch, with Grinds still on it, to a trailer behind a pickup truck. Removing her from the couch would be too painful, since her body was grafted to the fabric. After years of staying put, her skin had literally become one with the sofa and had to be surgically removed."

From Heaven to Hell: Kinda like a modern-day Hieronymous Bosch, only less epic and done doodle-style.

Turkmen leader orders ice palace: It's the madness of King George, Turkmen-style.

Coat Hanger Astonaut: I don't get it, but I do like it.

Shakespeare for today's busy lifestyles: Complete with flowcharts.

The Stupidity, It BURNS: Fantastic story of a fantastically-stupid man (thanks, Dead Corpse).

Japan gets set for the Buttocks generation: "Japanese parents have been given government permission to name their children 'Buttocks' or 'Prostitute' if they wish after a bizarre row over expanding the list of officially acceptable names."

The Seven Sutherland Sisters: An interesting tale of what could almost be described as the Victorian Partridge Family. They were talented, but mostly, they had long hair.

Meanwhile, in the stricken Third World of Middle Earth: Nigerian spam hits Middle Earth.

Car could turn roads into express-yourself lanes: What the world needs are emoting automobiles.

Savings and Clone: This is such a Philip K. Dick sort of thing.

And now for some Usenet apocrypha, courtesy of anonymous_bozo: "I listened to an acupuncturist on the radio once. He claimed that bacteria & viruses had nothing to do with disease. I phoned up and asked him to confirm that. He said that disease was all from ‘unbalanced chi’ and that microbes had nothing to do with it. So (and this is the funny part) I asked if they sterilized the needles they used at his office. He said of course they do. I asked why. There was a pause, then he got mad, started yelling and the talk show host cut me off."