I Can't Wait 'til Suppertime!

A benefit exists to being both slim and muscular when my students don't understand which muscles are activated to perform a particular dance technique. I can get them to hold on to my waist, hips, or whatever, and all will be revealed when I perform the technique. That's what I ended up doing yesterday while explaining the mechanics behind the maya.

After my class, I came home to a tasty roast tenderloin dinner. f00dave had cooked it in wine, and it was very good alongside the vegetables and rice. It's nice to be able to eat a meal at home with f00. Lately, most of my meals at home are hasty affairs eaten alone, or leftovers or nuked frozen dinners at work. I've been carefully monitoring my diet, as of the past month or so. I've cut out most of the junky food I'd been eating, like white bread and processed foods glucked up with corn syrups. Instead of white bread, I eat whole grain. Instead of drinking black tea with milk and sugar every day, I've been drinking green tea sans sweeteners. I'm careful to eat more protein, fewer simple carbohydrates, more complex carbohydrates, and additional fibre. Aside from my lapse into chocolate care of f00's Valentine's Day Hershey Kiss offerings and a cup of salty, buttery popcorn badness, I've been doing very well. The results are showing, too. My abdominal muscles are revealing themselves, coming out of hiding from beneath their little pudge roll.

After supper, Alex/Sascha came over and we watched The Delicate Art of Parking and The Village, both of which are enjoyable for entirely different reasons. When Alex left and f00 went to bed, I stayed up and watched Mars Attacks, which I haven't seen since it came out in theatres. I enjoy it as much now as I did then. It's just as ridiculous a story as I like to see.

Today is a stay-at-home day. Aside from doing a few chores, I've whipped up a batch of my everchanging hamburger soup. Today's recipe includes a small handful of wild rice, a tablespoon of chili powder, triple the garlic, and some generous shakes of oregano and summer savory. I was going to add a red pepper, but when I sliced into it with my handydandy kitchen knife, I released the mould spores which lie within. I'm sure the soup will be tastier for the lack of pepper mould. I know it smells and looks awfully good.

Perhaps Hunter S. Thompson wouldn't have offed himself had he known he could have come over for some soup. What a waste.

And now for a few links while I accomplish the exciting task of cleansing dirty clothing.

How to fold a t-shirt: If I didn't hang them up instead, I'd do this.

Sex is for Fags: Abstinence parody for boys.

Iron Hymen: Abstinence parody for girls.

Egyptian Doctors Remove Baby's Second Head: No, it's not the second coming of Zaphod Beeblebrox. This story fascinates me. Take a look at the "parasite" head. It looks like the face of a normal child. Poor kid.

Wedding Registry for Mary Letourneau and Vili Fualaau: What to buy for the about-to-be-wed child molester and her former victim.

District has trouble finding psychology textbooks not mentioning homosexuality: Poor school district. It's so hard to keep kids in the dark, nowadays.

If It Stinks, Don't Trust It: "Only professionals and the mentally-ill should engage the undead" (thanks, freakwoman).

( Nice duds. )

Can You Levitate Like a Shaolin Monk?

Kung fu class was confusing. We were taught a new technique tonight which I do not like. I can't ever imagine using this one particular move in a fight. It involves going from an elbow strike while in a horse stance to a squat with a circular hand movement which blocks a punch or kick, then coming back up again in an arrow stance while doing a sun punch and a closed mirror hand black. I can't imagine using the combination, because I've never fought anyone who'd use the reciprocal movements. If my opponent is down low below my waist, my first reaction isn't going to be to lean over and punch him. That would throw me off balance. I'd be more tempted to sweep out one of their feet and basically stomp the heck out of them. Ah well. I drilled on the technique for a good twenty or thirty minutes and got exercise out of it, at least.

But that wasn't the confusing part. In my Monday night classes, the Sifu stresses the importance of being careful that we do not hurt one another. He wants us to exercise the technique in such a way that we never make full contact. Keep this in mind. The confusing part was the behaviour of my Sifu. He's noticed my habit of holding my fists up, guarding my face and centre line. According to him, this is "never done in kung fu." When he asked me where I was taught such a thing, I told him: by Sifu Danny, Sifu Ricky, and also by my karate instructors. I told him that when I fought the t'ai chi chu'an fighters, that they also kept their hands up high, rather than down by their waist as he does. He disagreed vehemently, and was obviously unimpressed by what I'd been taught. "Here, I show you why it's no good," he said. "Hold hands up like you do."

So I did. He then grabbed for one of them. I moved it out of his way, and he managed to pin my other hand. However, in this same time, I had chambered a roundhouse kick, and gently pressed my foot to his ribs. It would have been a mutually-assured destruction. "You cheating," he said. "Not allowed to use legs."

I hadn't realized there was such a thing as cheating. I was just trying to defend myself. "Hold hands up again," he said. So I forced myself to keep both feet on the ground and only use hand work. This time, he pinned me fair and square, then struck me in the face, mashing my lip against my teeth. I blinked in surprise, but his face showed no remorse, or indeed any sign that the contact had been accidental. "Again," he said. Once more, he pinned my hands, and this time he struck me hard across the jaw. On the third time, he hit my lip again, bashing it against my teeth.

Although I can understand he felt it necessary to prove a point, I don't understand why he would resort to intentionally causing injury (no matter how minor) to do so, especially when he stresses how he doesn't want anyone to strike one another. Just by pinning my arms and beginning (but not finishing) a strike could he prove a point. The intentionally inflicted pain, based on his previous admonitions, strikes me (heh) as petty.

While I do see the value in his philosophy of hand positioning, I still must hold respect for what I've been taught over the past few years. After all, in order to counter someone whose hands are up, one must also raise one's hands. And doesn't this just put you in the same basic fighting stance I'd been using all along?

Also, he mentioned Bruce Lee at one point during his class. If I'm not mistaken, Bruce Lee also frequently stood with fists raised, did he not? Take a look at the first few pages of Bruce Lee's Fighting Method, Vol. 3: Skill in Techniques to see what I mean.

In any case, next week will be my last class with this fellow, and then I'll be able to train at my regular school again for a while.

As a final note, just as I was preparing to leave my class, the youngest member of the class went up to the Sifu and asked him a question. "Master, can you levitate like the Shaolin monks?"

"Can I ... levitate?" The Sifu was obviously confused.

"Yeah! Can you levitate?"

The Sifu thought for a minute. "What you mean by levitate?"

I carefully made no facial expressions, but continued putting on my boots and coat. "You know, float in the air like I saw them do on TV," said the kid.

"Ah, no. I no can levitate. That different style. No one know all styles of kung fu." At that, the Sifu looked over at me and gave me a tiny smile.