In fact, it was a little bit frightening. They fought with expert timing.

In theory, I went to judo with gha5t last night. But the reality didn't work out that way. Instead, we bought much-needed groceries, then telephoned Sifu Danny back in Fredericton. It was good to talk with him, and I told him to give Pete (one of the black sashes) a kick in the ass, and to make Justin (one of the brown sashes) stand in horse stance with someone heavy standing on his thighs.

We said our goodbyes, and then headed off to judo. Unfortunately, we got a bit lost, and rather than show up unannounced and late for our first class, we decided just to find the damned dojo so we could get there on time next week. Then we came back home and did our own practice session.

We worked on a few wing chun drills, and then gha5t decided to come up with a couple of applications to practice. He's trying to get a feel for how to teach a class, so I was the guinea pig. He found a couple of combinations which are both easy and devastating. He also found a couple which are a bit more complicated, and not necessarily as vicious, so we went for the simple nasty ones. Makes perfect sense, right?

So with coaching, he helped me correct my movements so that I was flinging him into the couch with a minimal expenditure of power. I like the stuff we were doing. It doesn't require any muscle, just an awareness of alignment and your centre of gravity.

Then I sat back and critiqued his forms. Although he has an innate understanding of martial applications paired with an understanding of each movement in the forms, his presentation is not a thing of beauty. So I stared and tried to analyze just what was wrong. Part of the problem is postural. The other part had to do with footwork. When I brought these points up, he redid the form and it looked enormously better. So huzzah for teamwork!

Tonight I'm going to go to t'ai chi chu'an one more time, and then to wing chun. I'll speak with Sifu Chuck at wing chun. If any of his students come from downtown Kitchener and I can carpool with them, then I want to continue studying with him. If not, I guess I'll just be sad.

Tomorrow, I'm trying out a Shaolin kung fu kwoon. I have the sneaking suspicion they are a belt factory. I guess I'll find out soon enough....

Saturday, dreamlikedouche comes to join me in my happy home. All of a sudden, I feel like I live in a guys' dorm.

And now for links. You know you want them.

Awesome new Japanese horror flick about hair extensions: "Remember a young actress named Chiaki Kuriyama? Sure you do. She played Gogo Yubari, the mace-wielding bodyguard who dressed like a Japanese schoolgirl in Kill Bill Volume I. She was also in the disturbingly violent but oh-so-cool Battle Royale, and while most of her work has gotten little if any exposure here in the States, she has two dozen acting credits listed on IMDB. The trailer for her latest film, Exte: Hair Extensions, or Ekusute as it is known in its native language, will be released in Japan on February 17, and based on the trailer posted over on Youtube, this is one freaky little flick."

Amber Guard: A nifty picture of a funky outfit that I'd gladly wear grocery shopping just to check out people's reactions (thanks, warren_ellis).

I-957 would require married couples to have kids: Another modest proposal.

Man With Two Dongs: So NSFW.

The Old Sweet Lime Trick: Very cool. Ever hear of Miracle Fruit? I hadn't until tlatoani posted about it.

Truth in Advertising: NSFW because of pejorative dialogue. It's funny because it's true (thanks, gha5t)!

Breaking Out the Videos

Over the past while, I've been collecting videos (usually dance) from YouTube which I find interesting/educational/entertaining/inspirational. I figured I ought to share them with you. So every now and then, I'm going to post one for your viewing pleasure.

Today, I'd like to share an example of hyper-masculinity in the shape of B-boy Junior of France. Wowie wowie. Such strength. Such balance. Such control....

Watch on YouTube

Waxing Philosophical

From an unknown author comes this piece of giggly hysteria. Cringe and enjoy the schadenfreude!

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, and play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.

It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.

(YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting
championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace

myself.... RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!.... OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. OH NO!

What have I done???!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???


Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. WHAT?! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.


Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. My LIFE FLASHES BEFORE ME!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door.


*Hoo-hoo*? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut!


I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!!

I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? WRONG!!!!!!!

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!

God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter -

"So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hoo- ha?"

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace.... the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair.... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE...ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color...