I Need

I could not get my nose screw back in. Neither could f00dave. And now my nose is all swollen, and the piercing likely half grown over. I'm going to go to a piercing shop today and see what they think. I'm hoping to have a captive bead hoop put in. I sure hope the shop has one in the right size. Even if they can get my nose screw back in, my nose is so swollen that the metal would be embedded everywhere. Gah.

I also need to get new glasses. The anti-glare coating on my lenses has all but peeled off, leaving me with the filthiest looking glasses, no matter how clean I make them. It also makes it very difficult to see or focus properly. Unfortunately, new lenses (not even counting frames) will set me back about $400. Gah redux.

I may not be able to make it to kung fu tonight, as gha5t's car is out for repairs, and the kwoon is too far away to get to any other way. Meh.

Read some links. Make some happy.

Chinese burn Viagra replicas for randy ancestors: Maybe there's a use for spam, after all. Print it out and burn it for your ancestors.

The Girl With a Boy's Brain: A fascinating article with a title that just pisses me off. The only reason they say this woman has a male brain is because she has Asperger's Syndrome--something more commonly diagnosed in males than in females. Saying she has a male brain is like saying a man with breast cancer has a female body. Gah! In any case, the woman in question sounds eerily like me. EERILY. I also don't think she has a mental illness as much as it's just another personality type. Just because you don't fit in with the status quo doesn't mean you have a disorder (thanks, f00dave).

Gov't takes over Alberta hospital over concerns: So fucking gross. "Investigators found some surgical tools were being recirculated even though they still had blood and bits of flesh on them" (thanks, gha5t).

Ladders: Lessons on how NOT to use a ladder.

Shamanic Cheerleaders: For some reason, this makes me think of a squad of peppy young men and women forming a pyramid outside a Buryat healer's hut. But that's not what they do at all.

Horror of neck tumour man: Ok, so this guy discovers a tumour in his neck seventeen years ago. Two years ago, it became enormous and very painful. This year, he finally decided to see a doctor. Pardon me while I stereotype, but what quintessential male behaviour!

Cat-Heads and Dog-Heads: Just a weird little bit of Celtic folklore.

Gorgeous Portrait Photography: Oh, the colours and the personalities....

Surprise!: A horse is a horse, of course....

Danse du Jour

I think today's dance clip is an excerpt from Latcho Drom, a documentary on Rromany nomadic culture. I like this clip because it shows how everyday sounds serve as music and rhythm for dance. And just watch those barrel turns. Excellent.

Watch on YouTube

'snot the Pain that Bothers

Well, that didn't go as planned.

I went to a local piercing shop and left shortly thereafter rather creeped out. I told the piercer I wanted to get a hoop in my nose. He told me that women don't like hoops, because they're too big. I told him I'd had a hoop before, and liked it quite nicely.

So then he shows me the hoop he'd use. It was a 14 gauge hoop--the same size that's in my ears. No thanks, I said. I wanted an 18 or a 20 gauge hoop, like I had before.

He told me they don't come in that size.

Wha?

I told him I most definitely did have one of that size before, and he said it must have been specially made.

So I left and bought the right gauge ring at a body jewellery shop. And that's when I found out that the piercing shop I'd gone to is the worst in town, and people have contracted hepatitis there, amongst many other health problems caused by terrible hygiene and bad piercing.

I miss Paul from Fredericton. He does good work.

In any case, I've got the hoop mostly through my nose. It won't quite go through the inside bit of skin, so I think f00dave will have to finish it off for me, something which will most assuredly make both him and me stressed. My nose really doesn't like its jewellery, even if I do.

Also, I don't relish staring at the inside of my nose in the mirror. Gazing raptly at my nostril's interior is rather like watching extreme close-ups in a porno. It looks generically pudendal with its coarse hairs, tumescent mucous membranes, and glistening secretions. Yum yum. No wonder there's Japanese up-nose porn (NSFW? You tell me.).

In other news, I hope to attend an academic talk tomorrow with dreamlikedouche on zombies in film. I've also been busily using Facebook, which isn't nearly as annoying as MySpace, and is a bit easier to figure out than Tribe.

Oh yes, and if you haven't seen it already, Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny is a good check-your-brain-at-the-door comedy in the same line as This is Spinal Tap. I squeal-laughed!

(no subject)

The good news is f00dave got my nose ring in.

The bad news is that somehow, during single person drills at wing chun, the filling in my front tooth spontaneously cracked. So make that six fillings I need to get now. Ohjesusjesus. That's a lot of money....

My muscles have all been really tense for the past week or so. Everything's related, dontcha know?

Lawsuit: Clinic Used Wrong Sperm: I'm of two minds about this. First, it seems pretty bad that this kind of mix-up can happen. And was the intruder sperm tested for diseases? Second, who the hell cares? They wanted a baby; they got a baby; they love their baby. Where's the problem?

Making Mice With Enhanced Color Vision: If you plug something like that into my brain, what colours will I see? Hey, wait a minute. Weren't previously-unknown colours a common element in the Cthulhu mythos? Does this mean that the scientists are Cthulhu to the mice (thanks, tdj)?

Tonight's wing chun class started with the strangest ab exercise I've ever done. It was a partner exercise. One person kneels, and the other person lies on their back, crotch jammed up against their partner's knees. The reclining partner wraps their legs tightly around the other person's waist. From this position, the reclining partner does crunches, and as they get to an upright position, they grab their buddy by the shoulders and try to pull them down onto them. Every now and then, the kneeling partner shoves the reclining one in the chest back down to the floor.

It is the humpiest looking exercise I've seen outside of porn.

My abs got a good workout. I'm not sure if it was from the exercise, or the uncontrollable cackling emitting from me. I laughed so hard that I covered my face with a big blast of spit. Hoorah!

Tribally Yours Photos

I just got in a couple of action shots from Tribally Yours, courtesy of Isabelle Jetté. They're not the most flattering photos, but not too bad considering I wasn't able to breathe much while dancing.