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Snippets of Memory
May. 9th, 2012 09:39 amIn 1999, when I was a cashier at a grocery store, there was a big advertising campaign in the deli. The posters said, "2000 is at the door. Answer it with cheese." Uhhh....
...
I remember walking with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
f00dave along a residential street. Some 10-year-old boys were playing street hockey, when they suddenly threw down their hockey sticks and ran up to us excitedly. "Can we have your autograph?" they asked Dave.
"Who do you think I am?" he asked, confused.
"You're Wayne Gretzky, silly!"
...
I was waiting in line for boxed lunches. The woman at the counter said, "We have a vegetarian option, a beef option, and a chicken option."
A clueless man asked, "Is the chicken vegan?"
...
In grade eleven, while in a haze of too much studying for final exams and not enough sleep, I, for some inexplicable reason, hooked up a piece of surgical hose to two high-pressure water taps in the chemistry lab and turned them both on. The hose exploded off one of the taps and sprayed everyone in the room.
...
When I was too young to walk, my father held me in his arms and I remember looking up at his nose and seeing nose hairs. I reached up to pull them, and he gently pushed my hand away saying, "No, no."
...
I rememberknightky in wet, green Cornwall, creeping up on some furtive sheep amongst the standing stones and thatched roof houses. I laughed when he charged the sheep and they bolted, leaving him standing there in the sodden grass saying, "But I only wanted to give them scritches!"
...
When I was 9, I was walking with my family, my collie Shep, and her litter of hyper puppies across the dunes of northern Newfoundland. All of a sudden, Shep barked, and tore off across the dunes and out of sight. The puppies tore off after her. We crested the dune and they were nowhere in sight. We could, however, see a beached whale. It was moving. As we got closer, we could smell the rot and corruption, and it became obvious that the whale was moving because it was full of rolling dogs. Dad pulled them out, covered in maggots and slime, and he puked a few times while he threw them in the ocean to clean them off. They screamed and yiked like they thought he was trying to murder them, and every chance they got, they'd try to run back to the whale. We had to keep them all tied up for a few weeks lest they return.
...
I remember the time in university when my Victorian Literature prof., Dr. Bentley, gave us a very special Victorian Literature lecture: instead of talking about Wuthering Heights or Erewhon, he'd brought in the local Natural Law party representative, who spent the hour explaining to us how if Natural Law were voted in, that they'd teach us to yogic fly, make all home entrances southern ones, and prevent the birth of national enemies.
...
I remember walking with
f00dave along a residential street. Some 10-year-old boys were playing street hockey, when they suddenly threw down their hockey sticks and ran up to us excitedly. "Can we have your autograph?" they asked Dave. "Who do you think I am?" he asked, confused.
"You're Wayne Gretzky, silly!"
...
I was waiting in line for boxed lunches. The woman at the counter said, "We have a vegetarian option, a beef option, and a chicken option."
A clueless man asked, "Is the chicken vegan?"
...
In grade eleven, while in a haze of too much studying for final exams and not enough sleep, I, for some inexplicable reason, hooked up a piece of surgical hose to two high-pressure water taps in the chemistry lab and turned them both on. The hose exploded off one of the taps and sprayed everyone in the room.
...
When I was too young to walk, my father held me in his arms and I remember looking up at his nose and seeing nose hairs. I reached up to pull them, and he gently pushed my hand away saying, "No, no."
...
I remember
knightky in wet, green Cornwall, creeping up on some furtive sheep amongst the standing stones and thatched roof houses. I laughed when he charged the sheep and they bolted, leaving him standing there in the sodden grass saying, "But I only wanted to give them scritches!"...
When I was 9, I was walking with my family, my collie Shep, and her litter of hyper puppies across the dunes of northern Newfoundland. All of a sudden, Shep barked, and tore off across the dunes and out of sight. The puppies tore off after her. We crested the dune and they were nowhere in sight. We could, however, see a beached whale. It was moving. As we got closer, we could smell the rot and corruption, and it became obvious that the whale was moving because it was full of rolling dogs. Dad pulled them out, covered in maggots and slime, and he puked a few times while he threw them in the ocean to clean them off. They screamed and yiked like they thought he was trying to murder them, and every chance they got, they'd try to run back to the whale. We had to keep them all tied up for a few weeks lest they return.
...
I remember the time in university when my Victorian Literature prof., Dr. Bentley, gave us a very special Victorian Literature lecture: instead of talking about Wuthering Heights or Erewhon, he'd brought in the local Natural Law party representative, who spent the hour explaining to us how if Natural Law were voted in, that they'd teach us to yogic fly, make all home entrances southern ones, and prevent the birth of national enemies.
