shanmonster | The Dream

I'm a young Chinese man, and I'm totally kick-ass with the kung fu. The earth has been attacked once per generation by insectile aliens. Every time the earth is attacked, the aliens have been repelled. This time, however, they are winning, and the only way to defeat them is by using a lost style of kung fu.

I do not know this style.

However, I do know a book exists somewhere which explains the secret techniques, and I am determined to find it.

In the meanwhile, the insect aliens are attacking in massive waves. Many people are dying. My search is becoming more and more desperate, but I've had no luck in finding the necessary book.

Then one day I see an ancient Chinese woman in a loose skirt and a tank top. The skin on her arms is wrinkly, loose, and flabby. When she gestures, her tricep flab wobbles in a most unattractive manner. While I watch her, she suddenly hikes up her skirts and runs along the tops of gravestones as though weightless. The gravestones range in size and shape from small wooden posts to large stone crucifixes, and she hops and skips high and light in the air. I realize she is the last living practitioner of the lost kung fu art, and I beg her to teach me.

She agrees, and then I wake up.