It's Called Trespassing

[shanmonster]

Landlords: If you are going to show an apartment to prospective tenants, don't show up three hours earlier than you said you would. And certainly don't walk on in without ringing the doorbell. If you do, don't be shocked to catch the tenants in flagrante delicto.

Comments

[elanya.livejournal.com]

LOL

[duhastbees.livejournal.com]

ahhh, you made my day with the phrase "in flagrante delicto."

[fernblatt.livejournal.com]

Indeed you made my day with the phrase "in flagrante delicto."

The Latin is so much elegant than the Tennessean comment of "I guess you showed them!" ahem, cough, etc

Oh, the possibilities

[montecristo.livejournal.com]

This is where the two of you look at the landlord's prospective tennants, then at the landlord and in utterly reasonable tone, say: "You're early; we weren't ready, but they'll do. Did you remember to bring the handcuffs and rope this time?"

[tlatoani.livejournal.com]

I hope you were doing something suitably impressive and shocking!

[morriganswitch.livejournal.com]

I hope you weren't caught with farm animals this time. :)

Re: Oh, the possibilities

[zombienought.livejournal.com]

Exactly. For some reason, I keep hearing in my
head, "Dear Penthouse Forum, I never thought
this would happen to me, but..."

P.S. Did he learn which way the wind was blow-
ing?

[http://users.livejournal.com/neongrey_/]

You win the internet.

[idiolekt.livejournal.com]

Mental note: become landlord.

[graylion.livejournal.com]

*rofl*

[vulcan-rc.livejournal.com]

"You're late, so we started the full-contact yoga class without you..."

[daughty.livejournal.com]

That's against the law, actually (the trespassing, not the "act", kwim)

[real-bethy.livejournal.com]

Wow, I hope you showed some of your kung fu moves on the bastard. I would have told him to get the hell out or I would call the cops...that so wasn't legal.

On the other hand, I hope that you and Dave were doing something really especially naughty - watersports, pony play...something to really freak the dude out.

[f00dave.livejournal.com]

At about 5pm, we were having loving, vanilla sex in the bedroom (which is around three corners from the front door). We heard a voice, "Hello? We're here to show the place to [name and name]!" Or something to that effect. Shan was in an epileptic fit of indecisive, but purposeful-in-fractions motion, starting immediately after the "Hello?" sunk in. I calmly got up, put on a bathrobe and walked out, sex-hair be damned. I met them at the front door, odd whumping sounds coming from the bedroom as Shan tries to dress herself, tidy up, and close the door to the bedroom all at once. "You said you'd be here at 7:30!", says I. "Oh, we had also booked an earlier appointment, for 5pm. We tried to call, but there was no answer." "Yeah, we were ... ignoring the phone." -pregnant pause- "Is it alright to show them the place?" "Oh, sure!" I probably had a bit of an odd/amused look on, at that point.

I wander back to the ominously-silent bedroom and greet Shan, now slightly calmer, fully dressed, and only half-frantically running around not knowing what to do. "I'm going to get dressed, too. Can you go out there and see if they need anything?" "NO! -whisper- I'm high!" "So am I, pooker, but it's no big deal. This is our place!" "But they'll know we were having sex!" "So? People have sex, Shan." "But! BUT! ..." I smiled a little and out she went, leaving me to get dressed. Just as I'm finishing, Shan comes back. "There's nobody there." "...?" Sure enough, they'd fled.

So I called the landlord, got the answering service, and left a message saying that we'd really appreciate a full 24 hours notice before they come by, again. The owner-type calls back later, and talks to Shan. She sets him straight on the answering machine message that said "7:30" and how it said nothing about this 5pm thing. I suspect that particular employee is in a little bit of shit, especially with the CYA-attempt I overheard on my trip back to the bedroom; "I left them a message saying we'd be by, and that there was another couple also interested". Which was a lie. Ah well, she reaped what she sewed, I guess. :-)

Oh Mercy!

[real-bethy.livejournal.com]

I don't know whether to laugh or cry! On one hand, I'm mortified that your rights were so casually violated, but on the other, I'm greatly amused! The worst part, of course, is that your lovemaking was disturbed and that intimate moment (and presumably deliciously-anticipated orgasm)was killed.

That's one downside to living in an apartment or rented building - *someone* always has access to your place, even when you're not home.

Re: Oh Mercy!

[f00dave.livejournal.com]

I was quite amused, too. I was only slightly irritated by the privacy-disruption, which is why I called them up. The part that bothered me more, though, was precisely what you suggested: the lack of culmination. Shan had already had hers, though, so it wasn't a total loss. ;-) Sometimes I have the worst luck!

Re: Oh Mercy!

[real-bethy.livejournal.com]

Aww! You're such a gentleman! Always making sure that the lady comes first!:) It's a mitzvah. I've had the elusive orgasm skip away on me a few times myself, so I know how frustrating it can be...but don't worry, I'm sure that like most massages, your story will have a "happy ending"!!!!:)

Re: Oh Mercy!

[f00dave.livejournal.com]

I stopped doing that (lady comes first) thing when too many "I'm tired now"'s stacked up. Sort of a 10 strikes policy. (Acutally more like a 100 strikes policy, I'm too generous!)

No idea what a mitzvah is, but it sounds jewish. Wiki agrees. And now I know what a mitzvah is. ;-) Generally, I agree with the sentiment....

It doesn't help that I'm more sexually charged than Shan, though ... at least in terms of power-exchange. Women have usually called the shots, though, and I'm (trying to be even more) non-violent, so ... -shrug-

A happy ending did ensue, for the curious. Best stop this thread now, though, as Shan is going to (try to) have me drawn and quartered for this much, already. Heh!