shanmonster | 1-2-3-4-5-6-Switch

I've just realized I'm stressed the hell out.

I must think mellow thoughts. Mellow. Melllllll-oooooooow.

In the meantime, enjoy some links.

S.C. mom scoops al-Qaida with its videos: "I realized, oh my gosh, I'm sitting here, I'm a fat 50-year-old mom and I've managed to scoop al-Qaida" (thanks, Benoit).

New Bestiality Restaurant lets you Pork your Pork: Colour me dubious. "Members pay a hefty fee at the door to be allowed to... have sex with the animal of their choice - which is subsequently killed, cooked and served to the violator and his party for dinner!"

The Grossest Spider Bite Ever: He should've gone to the doctor. I'm only sayin'....

Antioch burglars break into police training session: Hahahah!

Boy, 6, 'ran sex club at school': When I was 10, I ran a kiddy strip club.

Russia blasts gerbils into space: The Russians continue their great tradition of cosmonaut critters.

'Dead' man wakes up during autopsy: AKA Pranks Malkavians Play, or 'Live" man wakes up during vivisection.

Accused killer used vodka, sob story to lure 62 victims: "Alexander Pichushkin has confessed to killing at least 62 people, with the goal of marking all 64 squares on the chessboard." When he'd finished with the chess game, do you think he would have moved on to Go or Chinese Checkers?

Woman Says Dying Pig Caused String Of Traffic Accidents: "A woman who crashed her vehicle into five cars in three separate accidents says she didn't stop because she was rushing her pot-bellied pit to the veterinarian."