Tit's a Bit Nipply. Breast Wear a Sweater.

[shanmonster]

So I got thinking about the arbitrariness of modesty. As a generalization, women have boobs. In western culture, at least, so-called modest women's clothing allows for this, and doesn't try to hide the fact that the women have breasts. And so we see images like this:



(From Stylehive Modest Clothing)

However, when it comes to nipples, this is where shit gets weird. Both men and women have nipples. But, if women's clothing reveals that women have nipples, then it is considered immodest or sexually provocative.

This shirt isn't particularly different from the t-shirt in the previous image. But with the added nipple shape, it becomes something something scandalous in the eyes of many people.



And in the case of this image, those nipples have become fetishized.

I grew up in a repressed environment. I wouldn't have wanted to wear a shirt like that woman in the top image, let alone look like the woman in the second image. If I was at home, far away from the view of others, I didn't care. But, if I was going to be around anyone, I tried to wear clothes which hid from view whether or not I had breasts. Bear in mind that ever since puberty got its grubby mitts on me, I've lived in a near constant state of titty hard-on. The headlights are always on. It didn't matter that I didn't have breasts at the time. I always had those damned nipples sticking out, announcing themselves to the world unless I was wearing multiple sweaters and a big, puffy coat. It was humiliating.

I tried to hide it by wearing bras, even though I didn't have boobs. I wore so-called "training bras," which are useless bits of uncomfortable fabric which will not stay in place. They always rode up my chest and chafed my armpits. I was always tugging the things back down into place, but it didn't matter. Whether or not the bra was where it was supposed to be, my nipples were poking their way through multiple layers, wholly undaunted by my efforts. My body betrayed my best efforts to be modest.

All the while, I would have it pounded into my head at religious meetings and readings how it was of vital importance that girls and women conducted themselves modestly. Meanwhile, there was no shame at all for men and boys, if it were hot out, to remove their shirts altogether.

This struck me as immensely unfair. Boys had nipples. Sometimes they even stuck out just like mine did. But their nipples weren't "dirty" like mine, my Mom's, my sister's, or any other women's were. I lived on a farm. Animals walked around in nudity with their teats hanging out, and there was no shame in that. Why, as a human female, was I to bear the sole distinction of my nipples being dirty body parts?



By the time I was living on my own, I'd finally come to accept that my nipples are always saying hello. I'm not bothered by it.

However, other people are.

On my FaceBook account, I've been doing a personal project where I try to post a photo a day of myself. I'm interested in seeing how I change from day to day, and year to year. This is my way of chronicling it, and I don't mind sharing the images with whomever may be interested in viewing them. However, I've noted that on numerous occasions when lighting or my clothing has made it obvious that yes, I have nipples, someone will say something like, "You must be cold! Hahahah!"

I've been a nude model since 1990. I've danced burlesque. As far as I'm concerned, I have a healthy sense of body image and self confidence. However, whenever I get these comments, somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind is still that deeply repressed teenaged girl who wants to clutch her arms around herself to hide her shape or lack thereof.

Why do people feel the need to point out the fact that I, or someone else, has nipples?

Generally speaking, we all do.

Stop trying to place shame where none is deserved.