shanmonster: (Spasmolytic)

Nikki Warner is in fantastic shape. But this picture of her creeps me out for several reasons.

First of all, her boobs look about as congruous as a hand grenade on a cake. Maybe the implants look nicer when she's fully clothed, but right now, they look like a couple of cantelopes stuffed beneath her skin.

The next oddity is the disparity in her skin tone. I'm sure she's wearing a spray-on tan. Her face and hands practically glow in the dark.

Thirdly, that's the teensiest g-string I've ever seen. It appears to cover just her pudenda. All the better to see her fabulous physique, I guess!

These descriptors could fit plenty of female fitness models I've seen. I understand that a tan makes muscular definition really pop, and I can understand the scanty clothing (why bother wearing anything, though?). However, I don't understand the implants. Don't these incongruous globes hide the pectorals? Wouldn't natural breasts, even if they lose all their fat and pretty much disappear, accentuate the muscles beneath? It seems to me the implants are done just to fit some sort of strange belief that if boobs aren't really there, then neither is femaleness.

Now I realize that some women just really want to have the boobies on their chest. But if I rightly remember, in competition, participants lose points if they don't have knockers. This would mean that in order to be a professional body builder/fitness model, surgical modification is de rigueur. I wonder how many of them are on Rate My Boob Job?

And now, lest you feel left out, here's one for the laydeez: Sean Connery from the astonishing Zardoz. You're welcome.

[Eeeeee]

Date: 2004-10-29 01:38 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] longpig.livejournal.com
Her stripper shoes in 0160 are also pretty surreal!

Date: 2004-10-29 01:40 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] shanmonster.livejournal.com
Oooh, you're right!

Date: 2004-10-29 02:38 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] crasch.livejournal.com
Here, here. She would look so much better without the implants. At least the tan and clothes can be easily changed. (Skimpy isn't bad in my book, though.)

Date: 2004-10-29 03:36 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] shanmonster.livejournal.com
I have no problem with skimpy. I'm impressed at just how skimpy her bottoms are, though!

Date: 2004-10-29 10:48 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] zombienought.livejournal.com
Zardoz! What an awful movie! I've seen it
like three times.

http://shemuscle.com/ is similar to the
site you posted above (only, NSFW). I can't
stand the false breasts, when the muscles
should be what are judged. Shouldn't a
woman's supermuscular body be just as
impressive as a man's in the bodybuilding
world? Why don't they make male bodybuilders
get crotch implants? *sigh* Some people are
dumb.

One of the things I've heard is that female
bodybuilders like to look feminine in the
months they aren't training, and also to
fit into clothes designed for women. I still
don't think it's cool. Why mar all those
awesome rippling planes and angles with a
motionless beach ball?

And here's the Skinny Puppy breakdance video
for Pro-Test (it's large):

http://www.cerias.purdue.edu/homes/coj/skinny_puppy--pro-test.mov

Date: 2004-10-29 11:04 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] shanmonster.livejournal.com
Thanks! That video was hilarious!

Maybe they ought to make male bodybuilders bet crotch implants, just to balance things out.

Date: 2004-11-07 08:44 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] zombienought.livejournal.com
You mean like David Bowie had in
Labyrinth?

Date: 2004-10-29 11:05 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] shanmonster.livejournal.com
Oh, and did you see Rose, the 71-year old on shemuscle? Her boobs look real. I hope I'm in as great shape as she is when I'm that age.

Date: 2004-11-07 08:38 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] zombienought.livejournal.com
Oh, I know! She's awesome! I hope I
get stuck in a nursing home with a
hot gradmama like that when I'm that
age! :-P

Date: 2004-10-30 08:08 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] goth-hobbit.livejournal.com
Zardoz: opinions of the movie vary greatly, but 9 out of 10 women agree that the scenery was excellent!

Date: 2004-10-31 04:24 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] shanmonster.livejournal.com
I would be highly amused if f00 dressed as Zed for Hallowe'en, but I can't see it happening. I dressed as Zardoz a couple of years ago just for shits and giggles. It was a fun and silly thing to do.

How come Zardoz doesn't have a stage show like Rocky Horror Picture Show? I think it would be awesome.

Date: 2004-11-07 08:40 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] zombienought.livejournal.com
Apparently the director's commentary
for the movie is pretty sad/funny.
And that last time-lapsed scene had
to be re-filmed after a crew member
exposed the film. Apparently Sean
Connery actually almost killed the
poor guy.

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