*wheeze* *hack* *gasp*

[shanmonster]

Someone must have smoked at least one whole cigarette in the foyer to my building last night--maybe even a whole pack. After walking down the hill in the cold, I stood in the manky air fumbling for my keys, the whole time feeling the mother of all asthma attacks crushing my lungs. By the time I got the door open and stepped into unpolluted air, the damage was done. I was plagued by asthma all night and for most of this morning. I think it's under control now, but I sure do wish people wouldn't be so ignorant as to fill tiny little rooms with their stink. It must have been Export A. Just the smell of that brand, let alone the smoke, pretty much guarantees a lung freakout, whereas most other brands just leave me a bit wheezy. I hope I'm ok for tonight. I really want to go to kung fu. I think I'll put a sign in the foyer asking people not to smoke in there since it makes me sick, but I'll betcha it will be taken the wrong way and will make them smoke in there all the more. Feh.

I dreamed someone was shoving on my teeth so hard that they were on the verge of breaking. I wanted to scream, but knew if I did my teeth would be destroyed. I woke up coughing and coughing and coughing some more, but at least my teeth felt fine.

And now, check out these funky links:

Robospanker: Not worksafe, but too darned silly to be erotic.

Cancer Treatment Woman has Ovary Transplanted into Arm: This makes me think of the Ballchinian from Men in Black.

Google Snooping Gmail Accounts?: "Darknest sends word that his Gmail account has been terminated by Google because of suspicious files stored in his account."

CyberSEX Gone Wrong: Reminiscent of my ICQverts (thanks, Kutulu).

Huge Equine Vaginal Speculum: Now this is what I call intimidating (I blame fiachra).

Romantic Interlude: When the first time isn't as romantic as she'd hoped for (NSFW).

Japanese Business Men Spend Valuable Time: Someone needs to tell these guys to work a bit less and sleep a lot more.

DarkMateria's Audio Files: Capt. Jean Picard Captain USS Enterprise. Help! It's stuck in my head!

Comments

[thatnickguy.livejournal.com]

I miss the ICQverts updates. Damn, those were always hilarious.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

I miss them, too, but they don't write to me anymore. I think maybe they all switched over to MSM.

[thatnickguy.livejournal.com]

Want me to create a couple of fake ICQ profiles and harass you in the least literate way possible?

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

You could try, but I seem to be pretty good at sousing out the fakes.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

If she has an ovary in her arm, do you suppose she gets cramps in her arm when it ovulates? And would Midol find it? Heh...

[longpig.livejournal.com]

Mommy, mommy! I found a stray Japanese businessman; cn I keep him? :D

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

They are kind of cute, aren't they?

[longpig.livejournal.com]

I think you mean KAWAII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =^.^= =^.^= =^.^= ~~~

[zombienought.livejournal.com]

Google snooping accounts?! How shocking!
Especially considering that they say
up front that they will snoop your ac=
counts and spam you accordingly.

I am saddened that Dark Materia did not
link to Velvet Acid Christ. Do you sup=
pose this person is unaware of the good-
ness?

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Did VAC do Star Trek songs?