I Really Need Nailclippers

My fingernails were too long for martial arts, so I just bit them all off. I know there's got to be a better way.

And to think that when I lived in Moncton I had beautiful, lacquered, inch-long claws of doom!

The ShanMonster Vs. A Cock Sucker

The other day, I splurged and bought myself my only Easter candy of the year: a marshmallow egg and the cutesiest-wootsiest little baby chicken lollipop. I think the chicken is a boy, so I'll call it my cock sucker.

Tonight, I battled my cock sucker. And here, just to scare you, I've posted a photo essay of my epic fight.