The Weirdos Are Back

It's that time again! Here are my favourite search terms which led hapless/happy viewers to my website:

• what does mean morbid nudity (I not know.)
  
• pictures of michael jackson with erection (Images I really don't want to contemplate)
  
• big buttocks tribal (Steatopygous Hottentots?)
  
• shan wife nude (Who? Me?)
  
• shanglish (Spigeon! Bompalompa! Willawillawilla!)
  
• here i go again .mid (Now this awful song is stuck in my head!)
  
• queefs sounds (Why not? After all, there are plenty of websites devoted to flatulence.)
  
• how deep can humans go (Generally, they're pretty shallow.)
  
• semen nutrition (I'd be willing to bet a diet of semen would give you scurvy!)
  
• vagina yumminess (Yeah, but is it nutritious?)
  
• latin leech jar (Intriguing, for sure)
  
• rosanna arquette temper (When she achieves appropriate hardness, she should be lemon yellow.)
  
• zero nudity (Well, that's a change!)
  
• +gynecomastia +the rock (This one scores points for originality.)
  
• gynecomastia pretty bra -surgical (The Rock in drag?)
  
• opengl picking sweep selection (The most technical of search terms, this time around)
  
• here i go again on my own mp3 (The song is back in my head! Ack! What's with this, anyway?)
  
• spanked utilikilt (More highly-specialized fetishes in the making)
  
• women!! aerobic skin tight gym wear photo (I suspect the searcher has found pictures of men in the past, and wasn't happy)
  
• playing dressup means (Ask Freud.)
  
• creepy pictures of bigfoot (Hmm....)
  
• 3ft dildo (Unless you're a horse, what's the point?
  
• bukkake+fredericton (I hope I never walk in on it)
  
• my own nude site (Heaven forbid you find someone else's.)
  
• arnold schwarzenegger flabby pictures (Someday, maybe)
  
• christopher peers leapt from (Who is he? From what did he jump? I want to know!)
  
• krispy kreme doughnut necklace (Gross, whether literal or some horrible sexual metaphor)
  
• picture of vagina shapes (Equilateral triangles are my favourite.)
  
• how deep does a vagina go? (I once heard of a man who made it all the way to China.)
  
• o the deep, deep love of jesus (Jesus must be in that vagina.)
  
• sore muscles wearing no bra (Are we back to The Rock again?)
  
• Gaiman slash (Poor Neil!)
  
• what we need more of is science (You're darned tootin'!)
  
• teach me to eat my first pussy (No.)

I have a question concerning my top 10 search terms. What on earth is the fascination with naked pictures of Anne Coulter? I don't get it.

I Have a New Pet

His name is Scroffy (as in scrofulous), and is a rather ugly pigeon. His head looks like it's moulting, and his feathers are an unattractive mix of greys, iridescents, and shit brown. Scroffy lands on my balcony every day and unabashedly begs for food. He even comes to the screen door and tries to come inside, but I won't allow that. ( I don't need bird lice and pigeon shit in my already ugly carpet. )

An Untapped Market

Tonight I danced for Nigel. It was his birthday celebration, and my performance was a last minute thing, conceived of by Kathryn. So we snuck off to Pitchman's Pub dressed in black and silver, looking like goth belly dancers, and we danced for half of the gay population of Fredericton.

What a great audience!

We got Nigel to dance, of course, saving his favourite dance tune for last: Tarkan's "Simarik," also known as the Kiss-Kiss Song. He's a saucy dancer, and everyone loved him, even the straight bartender, much to his own surprise.

Afterwards, I was overrun with potential new students. The guys really want to learn to dance, so it looks like I'll be having rainbow dance classes in my livingroom. Hee!

On the way home, I told Kathryn that the best name I could think of for a gay male dance troupe is Hipstick. Whattya think? We'd take the Maritime dance scene by storm!