Well, Poop

I just found out second-hand that I didn't get the scholarship to the Morocco/Tarik workshop this month. This is a real pisser, because it means I have to pay for it with my already stressed-out credit card. All I can do now is hope I sell lots and lots of stuff at the workshop.

f00dave has also reminded me that I really need to concentrate more on my writing. My writing for money, that is. So I need to really finish writing those specialized dance costuming books I've been procrastinating over for the last few years. It's about time I did my tribal costuming book, my book on skirts, my book on tops, and my booklet on no-sew techniques. And then there's that chapbook I mentioned a couple of years ago. I need to get a wiggle on. Like f00 said, just an hour a day will go a long way....

Email change

I've been having problems with my email account (missing emails, etc.), so I've decided to change my primary email account to shanmonster@gmail.com.

Here We Go Again....

Princess Tubby's jaw problems have returned. I gave her a stick to chew on this morning, and although she grasped it greedily, while chewing on it, she kept throwing it down to paw furiously at her mouth. Sigh....

Carlos Castaneda's "Instruction in Self-Discovery: An Example"

Carlos Castaneda's "Instruction in Self-Discovery: An Example" (from Jacob Needleman's Religion for a New Generation) reads like a cross between Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and any master/apprentice story. Taken at face value, it's the simple tale of a neonate magus desperate for knowledge. Castaneda is eager to work with the sorcerer don Juan, but at the same time, frustrated by the seemingly impossible and pointless tasks he is given.

He finds further confusion after going on a peyote bender. He is told he has actually parleyed with Mescalito, and that Mescalito has, in an unprecedented event, played with him.

As with most stories, "Instruction in Self-Discovery" exists on multiple levels. At face value, it's a pretty pointless tale, albeit comical in a trainwrecky sort of way when it comes to the rolling around on the floor and the piss fight between Castaneda and the dog.

But the title of the piece makes it apparent the story cannot be taken at face value. There's more to it. After all, on a cursory reading, Castaneda doesn't appear to have achieved any sort of self-discovery, unless it's in the simple fact that he is strongly affected by peyote. The tale must therefore be an allegory.

Don Juan tells Castaneda to find a spot where he can feel "happy and strong" (Castaneda 487). Even if don Juan is apocryphal, it does not change the subtext of the story. It's the journey which is important in this tale--not the existence of a master. The "spot" Castaneda must find may be less of a physical place on a porch floor than a place within Castaneda's own mind where he is at his best. It can be described as the centre of his true nature and demeanor.

Colour is also important in the story. Castaneda sees aura-like colours while searching for his spot. Whether or not these colours are literal or figurative is indeterminable. I'm sure an analysis of colours in relation to the writings of Castaneda exists, but the information within the scope of this story is insufficient for me to make any informed conjectures.

I also note the recurrence of urine in Castaneda's story. When he writes of don Juan's two trips to the chaparral, I was at first compelled to shrug it off as descriptive writing: colourful, but essentially meaningless. However, since the end of the story is also marked by a similar event, it appears the act of urination is symbolic. A toilet is also mentioned halfway through the story, but Castaneda doesn't say if he used it or not. Perhaps the exchange of urine between Castaneda and the dog as Mescalito implies something similar to blood brotherhood. Castaneda will always have something of the peyote in his psyche, and Mescalito will always have something of Castanedo in his. They have melded together into one reeking, surreal entity.

Liquid in general is an important part of the story. Whether it's piss, vomit, water, saliva, or tequila, it seems vital. Perhaps it symbolizes the fluid nature of existence. When the canine embodiment of Mescalito drinks water, it passes through the dog throat, into his body, and shoots out through each hair. Soon after, Castaneda believes he is passing through a tunnel. Maybe this means he is part of the water, and as the peyote goes through his system, he in turn is passing through Mescalito's.

The final paragraph of the story is one of the only parts which I believe can be taken at face value. According to don Juan, "...fears are natural; ... all of us experience them and there is nothing we can do about it. But on the other hand, no matter how frightening learning is, it is more terrible to think of a man without an ally, or without knowledge."

It is therefore a person's responsibility to him or herself to gain knowledge and comprehension.

Floosh

A LiveJournal community devoted to pregnant Harry Potter? Why not?

Pokia: Wasn't there a scene in Bowfinger where Steve Martin's character pretended he was using a cell phone? It looked a lot like one of these.

Tortilla Art: You really can find Jesus on a tortilla.

Hello Kitty Pantyliners: I wonder if there's a Hello Kitty Keeper?

'The Handbag Studio': Usually, when someone tells an author, "I have the perfect story for you," they are wrong. However, this is how Schindler's List came to pass (thanks, Neil Gaiman).

Mary and Eliza Chulkhurst: Conjoined twins born in 1100. I'd like to know more!

To The Person Who Found My Camera: "No doubt, you're wondering why the memory card contains 17 close-ups of a cat's ass."

Man Sets Home Ablaze Burning Wife's Pants: Hmm....

Voyage to Our Hollow Earth: "The indigenous Eskimos believe there is a hole in the Arctic Ocean. Observations of several Arctic explorers of mirages of land in the Arctic indicate that the most plausible location for a north polar opening that leads into the interior of the earth is located at 84.4 N Latitude, 141 E Longitude. To check out this theory, a group of hollow earth believers and scientists would like to charter a Russian Nuclear Icebreaker into the Arctic sea." Pelucidar, here we come!

Doggy Poo: Apparently, this is a Korean children's classic.

Oh my. Every now and then, I find some furry art which confuses the bejeezus out of me. How about a picture of a giant hermaphroditic anthropomorphic puppy fucking a school bus (NSFW) or a Viagra-enhanced Cheetah woman (still NSFW)?

GenieCorp: Lick-n-Span really squicks me (thanks, hellsphreak).

Mememe

5 Things You May Not Know About My Time in School

1. In grade two, I was failing math. My Dad told me if I could bring my mark up to a 95%, I could have a pony. I got my pony.
2. In junior high school, I skipped as many gym classes as I could. I detested phys. ed.
3. I was punished for reading ahead in more than one school.
4. Throughout my school years, I invariably finished each year in the top five of any class.
5. This excepted mathematics. In grade five, I was put in the remedial math class at the same time that I was in the advanced class for everything else.

5 Things You May Not Know About The Jobs I Have Had

1. When I managed a comics/game shop, I'm sure I was the first sexual fantasy of several of my teen and preteen customers. I could see it in their eyes, and it squicked me.
2. Figure modelling has taught me there is a lot of subtle movement necessary in order to stand very still.
3. When I worked at Mactaquac Park, there was a real mouse problem. They ran around everywhere, and died and rotted in the most unfortunate places. We once found a festering mouse in the cupboard where we kept our lunches.
4. I once had to babysit so the kids' parents could hold a raucous, drunken Stomping Tom party in the shed out back.
5. Kids I babysat often asked me to make up bedtime stories. Then they'd invariably tell me the stories scared them, so I had to force happy endings.

5 Things you May Not Know About My Online Life

1. I've been using the Internet since 1989.
2. I've never played in a MUD.
3. My website has been updated on a mostly-daily basis since the autumn of 1995.
4. Who I am online is exactly how I see myself offline.
5. I'm an internet junkie. Ok, so maybe that bit is self-evident.

5 Things you May Not Know About Where I Live

1. I really don't like my apartment.
2. The bathroom fan appears to be having seizures.
3. My carpet is hideously stained, no matter how often it's cleaned. I hate it.
4. My apartment is overflowing with stuff: fabric, dance costuming, clothing, books, paper, sequins, chicken figurines, etc.
5. A frieze of supermodels stare at me in my bedroom/office.

5 Things You May Not Know About My Personality

1. I don't tend to harbour grudges.
2. I can be quick to anger, but the anger blows off almost immediately.
3. I'm both narcissistic and very critical of myself.
4. I hate depending on other people.
5. I hate asking favours (except of f00dave).