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Big Dig: Ballet for heavy machinery.

Eureka! Lost manuscript found in cupboard: I love this sort of story. "A long-lost 17th century manuscript charting the birth of modern science has been found gathering dust in a cupboard in a Hampshire home. Filled with crabby italics and acerbic asides, the 520 or so yellowing and stained pages are the handwritten minutes of the Royal Society as recorded by the brilliant scientist Robert Hooke, one of the society's original fellows and curator of experiments."

Bust Doctor: Possibly NSFW. I guess this is for people who don't want to bother with implants or quack pills. I think women wearing this would look like femmebots.

Sphynx Cats: Cats, brains, or the genitals of the very elderly? You decide.

The Man Whose Mother Was a Pirate: Before he was drawing fairies, Brian Froud was illustrating children's books with images of Hitler.

Peter Rabbit book in hieroglyphs: Tricky, considering there's no hieroglyph for blackberry or potato.

Robot goes missing: Philip K Dick is missing. Not the American science fiction writer whose novels spawned hit films such as Blade Runner and Total Recall -- he died more than 20 years ago -- but a state-of-the-art robot named after the author."

Unconventional Uses for Everyday Items

First of all, from The Aeneid comes a funny little story of a warrior escaping with his infant daughter. He is determined to save her life. A ravening army is at his back, and in front of him is a fast and treacherous river. He's afraid the baby will drown if he crosses the river with her in his arms, so he thinks for a while before coming up with a solution.

He lashes the infant to his spear.

Aha, I think. He's going to wade across the river with the baby held overhead like a pennant.

But no, I'm very wrong. I'm not thinking like a hero.

Heroes hurl baby-clad spears across the river.

I can't help but wonder how healthy such a baby would remain. I'd suspect the damage sustained upon impact to be considerable, but this kid was a real trooper. She was consecrated to Diana and grew up to be a warrior, of course. And because it was the trendy thing for lady warriors, she ran around with one breast uncovered while she fought (so much for D&D maille bikinis, hmm?). After slaying many, many, MANY warrior dudes, she finally got skewered beneath her bare breast by a spear and died in battle.

There was no mention of a baby being attached to the spear which slew her.

.....

And then, I read this gem from Things I Learn From My Patients:

"If you have vaginal vault prolapse, it is a good idea to put a potato up your vagina to prevent the walls from collapsing. After you've left the potato in there long enough that it begins to sprout, take yourself into the local ER and exclaim, 'There's a tree coming outta my virginy!'"

Read

Someday, when I get lots and lots of money, I am going to get subscriptions to Locus and The Comics Journal.

In the meantime, I'll remain poor and read the odd back issue.

Now, off to get grox!

My Lovely Lady Lumps

I like Oxygen Magazine most of the time. I've been seeing more garbage articles creeping in lately, but over all, I think it's a fine fitness magazine. There's a special issue out right now on glutes. I picked up a copy, thumbed through it, and put it away smugly.

I don't need it.

Although the rest of me might need work, my glutes are mighty fine.

Kung fu, weight training, cycling, and regular uphill walking does an arse good.