Dirty Jokes from my Childhood - Where's Johnny?

Yesterday, I got thinking about the time when I wanted to do something or another, and Dad said no. I was in grade one at the time. I pleaded with him, but he was adamant. Determined to get my way, I tried bribing him. "Daddy, if you let me do it, I'll tell you a dirty joke."

He gave me a singularly awkward look (which took me years to understand) before saying absolutely not, and that I shouldn't be telling dirty jokes, anyhow.

I still remember the joke. It is terrible, and about as accurate a representation of sex as you might expect from a six-year-old. And this got me thinking that there's an unexplored oral tradition of folklore out there: dirty jokes/stories by little kids. I imagine there are all sorts of ethical conundrums with trying to study this area, but at the very least, I can share my recollections of the awful, awful dirty jokes I used to think were hysterically funny.

So here's the first dirty joke I think I ever knew.

Enjoy, if you can.

..........

Little Johnny was supposed to take piano lessons, and his teacher came to the house. He went behind the piano with her and stuck his finger up her bum.

His sister went looking for him. "Johnny! Where are you?"

He stuck his finger up a little further.

"Johnny, where are you?"

He stuck it up further.

"Johnny, where are you?"

And Johnny said, "Just getting to the gooey stuff!"