shanmonster | Things to Meet and People to Do

Soon enough, I'll be off to the Mirima-goddamned-chi for Christmas with the in-laws. I'll make sure to bring lots of reading material.

While random_echoes taught the beginners how to dance with veils yesterday, snowy_kathryn and I came up with an idea to make an annotated video collection of how not to dance or behave during a performance. It would have everything from crotching the audience during backbends to wearing ill-fitting costumes to walking in full costume between the audience and someone else's performance. It will also include a list of common mistakes made by newbies, like violent arm/fist movements during shoulder shimmies, and dead bird arms. Do you have suggestions for the list? I think this will be both an entertaining and educational resource.

Here, for your delight and contemplation, is a collection of links I've pulled from my arse. Enjoy.

Skeletor and Beastman Song: Mondo bizarro, and not safe for work (thanks, longpig).

Physics Teacher Earns Praise, Criticism for "Applied" Exams: Hahahahhaha!

A new pseudoscience - Censorship by another name still stinks: "Judith Reisman, a self-described California specialist on addictive properties of sexually explicit images, proposes to ban all sexually explicit images as a mind-altering drug."

The Bad Sex award winner and longlist: I actually think these winners are quite good. Often, the point of writing about sex isn't to titillate. I think these examples were chosen because they make sex unsexy. Then again, I'll bet a few zoophiles might find Will Self's selection erotic to the max:

Whimpering and grinding his teeth, Shiva swung open the gate and entered another of the fields on his funny farm. He herded the cow into the hoof-cratered corner by the water trough, then slipped his trousers off so he could mount her. His first wife Sandra bucked and mooed beneath him. Despite the tumult of upheaving flesh Shiva still noticed - with lofty, Brahminical pity - the sprinkling of livid spots on the inside of her anal cleft.

Carolena Nericcio's The Art of Belly Dance: From everything I've read, this is an excellent bargain. I'd like to have a copy for myself.

Lordi: They remind me of GWAR (thanks, longpig).

Ovarian Tumour Close-Up: I like it because it has its mother's face.

The Hall of Douchebags: A collection of rock band photography which leaves much to be desired. If you want to make an album cover, use these as examples of what not to do.

Elven Concentration Camps: Recovered memories of past life Elven concentration camps. Oy (thanks, John Rickards).

Marilyn Monroe's Dress Size: I've often heard women say "Yes, but Marilyn Monroe wore a size 16" as proof that bigger was sexier, back in the day. Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but Marilyn would have looked strange in one of today's size 16 dresses.

... and yet another: A translation of Neopet fic, I think. I don't know a thing about Neopets, but I know funny when I read it.

Fan Deformity of the Week: I'm dubious about shin nipples.

[A tasty snack]