shanmonster | The Dream, and How Very Exciting

I am Aeon Flux, dragging f00dave along with me through a labyrinthal old school. I carry the One Ring to Mount Doom, which is actually located in the boiler room. I backflip and run along walls. f00 follows along as best he can, but he's still f00, and no superhero. We are cornered in a hallway by a pimply young security guard with string blond hair. The school is being evacuated due to overflowing lava, and he wants us to leave. I need to give f00 a headstart in running, so I french kiss the security guard who is appropriately surprised. His mouth tastes of pickles.

As per my earlier musing, I've decided to keep track of what books I read this year. This way I can assess my shit to gold ratio. I just finished reading Chuck Palahniuk's Lullaby and have started reading Jackie Chan's autobiography I Am Jackie Chan. Check out this day-in-the-life-of excerpt from his childhood (page 43):

This was a typical day at the academy: At 5 A.M., Biggest Brother would wake us up--first with a shout, then a brisk shake of our shoulders if we didn't get up immediately. Then we'd fold and put away our blankets, and march outside to the stairway that ran up the side of the building, climbing to the roof. Making as little noise as possible to avoid disturbing the neighbors--who were all asleep--we'd run several laps around the rooftop, just to wake up.

After the run, we'd march back down to breakfast, the sweat still wet on our bodies. There was no time to stop for a bathroom break, because it was Master's theory that any need to use the toilet in the morning meant we hadn't been training hard enough. As he put it, all of the body's toxins should have been sweated out during the morning run ... and so, the first time I made the mistake of asking to relieve myself, I was given ten extra laps to run. (Better to actually let loose in your pants--but heaven help you if Master found out.)

My day is much less harsh. I awoke at 8:30 am. I took time to go to the bathroom--twice, even. I guess I don't work out hard enough. Today is a day of housework and pumping iron. I didn't go to the gym the other day because my back was still very sore, but it seems not too bad now. Afterwards, I might watch House of Flying Daggers again (excellent, but a downer) or play some game or another with Linda and Dmitrii. I've finished putting away my CDs. Now I need to tackle an enormous task: the books.