They Found Me

[shanmonster]

Here's an excerpt from the search terms which led people to my website during the month of May. What I find different this time is the remarkable dearth of camel toe-related terms. Maybe people are moving on to bigger and better things (the reverse being true for those people who find my site by looking for child porn).

* the vagina area while doing backbends
* tapeworms vagina pictures (Eww. Just eww.)
* onamatopoeic word lists (Shazam! Biff! Thud! Crash! Chirp!)
* my sister forced her brother to wear her bras and pantyhose (And I put underarm deoderant on my sister's face. She didn't like it.)
* girl not have a bra and underwear it is nude (Included only for its charming use of English)
* face punching fetish (It takes all kinds...)
* anonymously mailed nude models (How much postage would it take to send a 130-lb model airmail?)
* x-ray nude photo (But aren't our bones naked, anyhow?)
* fat girls belly explodes drawings
* NB bra (Has a Viking ship on one cup and a trillium on the other)
* boys nude flushing toilet pictures
* how to get rid of bumps on the lips of your vagina? (I use sandpaper.)
* www;bikini butt bra;com (Someone really doesn't understand URLs or punctuation)
* source of cheesecake (It's the cheesecake tree, of course!)
* girls first vagina pictures (Why am I picturing a brightly-coloured Fisher-Price vagina?)
* tree tied lesbians (It's Ent vs. Dyke in a thrilling bondage competition)
* hockey upskirt (So that's where the puck went!)
* pictures of food (Uh, ok.)
* which diaper holds the most water (The one with a built-in bucket, but it's not water you should be worrying about)
* women,s nasty arms blouses and nasty shorts
* aphrodite pitchers images of her naked and nude (At the same time???)
* help with tampon fetish addiction (Maybe there's an equivalent to AA for these poor souls.)
* boring head drawing
* the biggest vagina camel toe (Probably it's a blue whale in spandex)
* camel toe beach boys lyrics (It was their biggest hit after California Girls)

Comments

[arwen-elvenfair.livejournal.com]

I'm speechless. You just can't make up that sort of thing. >_<

Question: How do you find out which search terms lead people to your site?

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

I use a site tracker called HitBox.

[itookboth.livejournal.com]

its creepy that the software's commercialized and not just some hacker's toy.

[badcat42077.livejournal.com]

Oi! I was looking for "belly dance pictures". People worry me sometimes. Your running comentary was very appreciated. :)

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Nothing wrong with belly dance pictures! Or even camel toe, for that matter. I'm just surprised, sometimes at how many people look for certain things.

[fourcorners.livejournal.com]

Um...do you even have anything remotely similar to those items being searched for on your site?

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Well, I have been known to include pictures of food on my page. I've never written about fat girls with exploding bellies, though.