Wake Me Up Before I Go Go

[shanmonster]

I managed to finish last night's shift despite the obstacles the trickster god played upon me. When I took my first call, although the volume was fine, I could barely understand the client. The sound was very muffled. So I reported the faulty equipment. It was doublechecked, and seemed to be working fine, so I went back to it, only to lose contact with a customer halfway through the call when my equipment died.

I was switched to a different work station, and then my software crashed halfway through a call. To top things off, my email stopped working. All total, I think I lost about a half hour to forty-five minutes worth of work due to some sort of problem beyond my control. What a way to begin a week. I hope it goes better tonight.

And then partway through the night, I suddenly became famished. I checked to see when my next break was, and realized I'd transcribed the times incorrectly. I'd missed my supper break. So I took it later, and my final break was a scant half hour after that. I'd like to say it made the night go faster, but it didn't. The last hour was spent with me holding my eyelids open in a sleep-deprived haze.

I awoke this morning to the faint sound of my alarm clock, an hour earlier than it should have gone off. But when I checked my clock, it wasn't beeping. I was hearing sounds which weren't there. What's with that?

So now I theoretically have had enough sleep, but I still feel zombie-like, albeit without the craving for brains. That didn't stop me from finding the following links, though. Enjoy.

Office Slang: I've used plenty of this terminology, but some of it is new to me (thanks, Dead Corpse).

Monkeys Pay to View Porn: "Like humans, monkeys will pay to see images of powerful and sexually attractive individuals." The article points out that monkeys will also require "overpayment to view the faces of low-ranking monkeys."

Screen Clean: Is your monitor dirty?

Six men jailed for exhuming a 'vampire' to eat his heart: It was in self-defense, of course.

Communication Skills: Learn the secret and gratifying language of punctuation.

The Faces of Meth: Before and after pictures. Crikey.

'Bounty Hunter' Job Posting Generates Surprising Response: When Nintendo advertised a position for intergalactic bounty hunter on Monster.com, they received serious responses.

McDonald's takes a surprising and comical tack into hipster lingo: If you can't see it, try this out. Yeah. Mickey Dee's wants people to have sex with their cheeseburgers.

Centuries' Old UFO Coin Remains Mystery: The truth is out there (thanks, Benoit).

Promet the robot puts best metal foot forward to preserve ancient dance: "Japanese researchers said they had turned a humanoid industrial machine into a master of Japanese traditional dance in a bid to use a robot as a guardian of cultural heritage." Right. Wouldn't it make more sense to ensure humans still trained in the dance style?

Nonreading generation of writers needs 12-step program: Journalism students who don't read. Great.

In other news, my appetite has been pretty shot for the past couple of weeks. Coincidentally, I've noted my little ball of tummy pudge has been retreating. Who'da thunk that exercising while eating less would make fat disappear? I think I'm on the cusp of a great discovery.

Comments

[chrysippvs.livejournal.com]

I am so damn tired of these vampires getting special treatment by the law. I mean, come one people, they are already taking our jobs and stealing our women with their charm. I, for one, support the Translyvanian 6!

[dskasak.livejournal.com]

I have forwarded the monkey-porn to my girlfriend, which now means she'll be looking at her stuffed monkey collection with a slightly more jaundiced eye (as well as protecting her creidt cards from their paws).

[foxxydancr.livejournal.com]

Found a link you might be amused by. Or maybe appalled, it's a toss up.
http://www.gizoogle.com/
try gizoogling 'shanmonster'
It definitely made me giggle.
Pardon me if you've already seen this.

[zombienought.livejournal.com]

Wouldn't it make more sense to ensure humans still trained in the dance style?


Nonsense! If Musashi had had a robot,
we'd not have lost his dual-sword-
wielding style!

[vureoelt.livejournal.com]

"Japanese researchers said they had turned a humanoid industrial machine into a master of Japanese traditional dance in a bid to use a robot as a guardian of cultural heritage." Right. Wouldn't it make more sense to ensure humans still trained in the dance style?

Right, but what if all the people knowing that form of dance was wiped out in some kind of catastrophe? Besides, it's a robot. That makes it way cooler and more likely to sppeal to people when they need some kind of resurgence. Or something. :)

[fullyarmdvishnu.livejournal.com]

If you liked Gizoogling, try http://www.googlism.com. Find out what Google.com thinks of you, your friends or anything!