shanmonster | The Dream

I dream

f00dave calls me from work to tell me I'm late. "Oh no," I say. "Oh no oh no oh no." I throw on my clothes, run out the door, and catch the bus to work. Only after I've been working for one hour and twenty minutes do I realize it's my day off. Unsure of protocol, I go up to the main desk to ask. No one is there, so I must telephone a help line. I call, explain my situation, and the woman on the other line puts me on hold. While I'm awaiting her return, a man picks up the line and begins propositioning me in an obscene fashion. I hang up on him, and decide to claim my hours, but add a note explaining what had happened.

Then I decide to return home. f00 is leaving, too. He has a small white car. I get in the passenger side and he begins driving home. We're alongside a large river, and he turns up a side road. The road is covered with ice and snow. A large van is obstructing our way, but the road has no shoulder, so we must creep by the van very carefully. Every now and then, slim cows dart in front of us, and we must beep them out of the way. After driving for quite some time, we realize the road is a cul de sac, but there's no way to turn around. "Oh no," I say. "Oh no oh no oh no oh no." But off to the side, I can see a beach which leads all the way back to the main road.

By this point, our car has transmogrified into a barebacked white pony. Since I'm the better rider, I take the front, while f00 sits behind gripping around my waist. We start down the steep hill to the beach, the pony staggers, and f00, who is wearing slippery grey sweat pants, begins to lose his grip. He slides forward. I grab onto the pony harder with my legs, but slide up over the pommel. This surprises me, since our mount has no saddle. And the pommel is made of a chunk of wood. I bump over the top of it but retain my perch. f00, however, falls off and lands on his back in black mud. "Oh no oh no oh no," I laugh. "You are NOT riding in front, now." And then I wake up.