shanmonster | Link Dump

Yes, it's time for another.

Atlantic Nights by Travis Tea: "Several months ago, in response to a claim by a certain publisher that writers working in the SF/F genre believe it "does not require believable storylines" or "does not need believable every-day characters," genre writer James D. Macdonald [sff.net] got approximately 40 mostly science fiction and fantasy writers to cobble together an intentionally horrendous monstrosity of a novel (read it here as an FTP download in RTF [sff.net] and PDF [critique.org] format) and then submit it, in order to display the less than discriminating tastes of that same certain publisher in regard to the kind of work they accept for publication."

"Earlier last week, the sting has been revealed, the publisher fell for it (retracting the acceptance as soon as news spread, of course)..."

"Here's a bit of an excerpt from my chapter:"

"Actually, I think I am ready to order now," said Isadore, firmly ignoring it all, flipping back his red forelocks out of his face and beyond the back to where the bulk of the abundant and suggestive ponytail rested against his wide strongly utterly virile back -- a back that could do the beast with two backs so well, when one of the two backs came into question and under scrutiny (but the other back of course depended on the woman writhing with him, under him and on top of him ah, the beasts they would make!).

And now for something completely different.

Goatse.cx: No, it's not that horrific picture. It's the Wikipedia entry on the picture. SFW if you don't go clicking any links there.

VW Commercial: No, this one doesn't have car bombs. This one features a remix of Gene Kelly's "Singing in the Rain" dance performance.

David Elsewhere: I'd linked to one of this remarkable dancer's videos before. Now I know his name, and now I've found another of his performances. His dancing doesn't give a visual interpretation of the music, which I believe would make his dancing pack more of a punch, but just you check out the way this guy can move. Wow. I am in awe.

'Sinful things' event includes 1930s vibrator: It looks like a small hair drier (SFW).

Cookie klatch lands girls in court: "Two Durango teens thought they'd surprise neighbors with nighttime deliveries of home-baked treats. But one woman was so terrified, she sued and has won."

Rusty is a homosexual: A cute little story of a gay little boy.

LifeWave Energy Patch: I found a banner for this "fitness patch" (kinda like a nicotine patch, only different) while perusing a bodybuilding website. The quackery of it all makes me giggle. It uses "nanotechnology" ("Nanotechnology is described as 'Manufactured products that are made from atoms.'"). How does it work? "Patches are 'encoded' with the signal 'transport fat to the mitochondria and make ATP.'" Bwa ha ha!

Man hides from cops, then calls for help: Laaa-aaame.

A Clean Sheath Is A Healthy Sheath: How to keep your horse smegma-free. "Owners will often hear a strange 'noise' when jogging their geldings indicating that the sheath is dirty." You know, growing up, I frequently heard that noise while around my horse Ranger, but no one ever told me what it meant. I hope it didn't mean poor old Ranger had a sore willy all that time.

Porno Smallbook Speaking, Let's Go!: Manglesome Japanese/English translations of pornography. Includes such chestnuts as "How about that! From behind, your ass looks really great," and "Hmm... You've got a great belly button. It's so deep set that you can't see the navel itself. Smack" (thanks, Andrew).

[Oh no!]