shanmonster | Looky Here

Work has been keeping me very busy. My email has been backing up, much like my toilet. I must call a plumber for the latter.

Here are a few more links for your delight and dismay:

Photographer Seeks Resolution: "Weighing more than 100 pounds, Flint's camera captures images at 4 gigapixels -- a resolution high enough to photograph four football fields and capture every single blade of grass. When printed at maximum resolution, the images are as big as billboards, but render the finest detail" (thanks, Benoit).

The Cuddly Menace: Cthulhu for kids (thanks, rachelbutoh).

Budding Jordan cyber love ends in divorce: Bwa! Ain't love grand?

Chicken Rice Congee: I've never had it, but I'm told it's excellent (thanks, Dmitri).

Why cyclists wear black pants: Possibly NSFW, but so very true (thanks, Lionel).

I've recently watched some truly awful movies, and a few decent ones, too.

Vampires Vs Zombies has a very misleading title. First of all, no vampires fight zombies in the movie. Well, there's one point, where perhaps that is what is happening, but it's not very clear. The only clear thing about this movie is the fact that it is a total piece of crap. Seriously, your average shoestring budget porno has better production values. At a few points in the film, the only lighting is that of a flashlight wielded by a character. And I'm sure their budget was very small, because at one point, while our two lesbian leads (the movie is very loosely based on the Sheridan Le Fanu classic "Carmilla") are driving their jeep down a dirt road, the car is obviously being pushed, because I don't think cars can drive that slowly. I suppose the slowspeed chase made it possible for a cameraman to walk alongside for a better view of the "erotic" shenanigans.

Personally, I think the movie is a steaming, festering pile of dog feces, but f00dave thinks it's the funniest thing he's ever seen. His rationale is that any movie which incorporates Doom and Ren & Stimpy sound effects during a zombie battle is hilarious. Plus, chainsaw sound effects affixed to a hedge trimmer (with the safety on) being used to eviscerate zombie school girls is the stuff of dreams.

And speaking of dreams, that brings me to the other horrible film we watched: Dream Warrior. This movie also has a misleading title, as well as a completely deceiving cover. There are no dream warriors. There are no dreams. There are, however, a few people you may be able to see as warriors, I suppose. The bearded, chainmail dude wielding a spiked cudgel on the cover of the box is nowhere to be seen in the movie, though. In fact, there is no chain mail, and there are no spiked cudgels. What we do have is a very low budget Croatian film featuring Aliens' Bishop as the bad guy, Isaac Hayes (Shaft!) as a wandering mystic, and Sherilyn Fenn as a sort of budget Liv Tyler. As far as I can tell, the movie is a retelling of Mad Max with a few dashes of Waterworld thrown in for bad measure.

One of my favourite scenes is the two men enter, one man leaves bit which takes place when our hero (named Rage, of all things) is captured by a band of ravening whiteface goths. No explanation is ever made for what the Village of the Goths has to do with anything, but maybe that's part of the movie's (only) charm.

The other films I watched are Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (Jude Law and Angelina Jolie are dreamy), and Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. Neither of these movies were as bad as I previously feared they would be, but reviews of them are legion, so I'll restrain myself.

In other news, I really like this bikini.

[Chantal Thomass bikini]