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The interview fad has finally struck me. If you want to be interviewed, let me know. You've gotta reciprocate, though.
f00 interviewed me, and this is what I came up with. If you're at all squeamish, read no further. I mean it.
1) What sexual act or situation do you find most repugnant/revulsive. (Not necessarily one that you've been involved with, mind you!) Why? What would it take to make you do that act?
I've seen a lot of repugnant shit. I keep thinking about the video of the women fucking themselves with enormous dead eels. That was certainly gross. I'm not sure which was more disturbing: the sight of the pale, floppy snake-like corpses appearing and disappearing within the women's various orifices, or the reason for the women doing this to themselves. Either way, it's a great big ewwwwww....
However, the most disgusting thing I can imagine would probably be a cross between shit-eating and murderous necrophilia. I keep thinking back to that shit omelette video I saw. Now that was horrible. But just as horrible were the "sexy" photos I saw taken by a woman and her boyfriend. They had axe-murdered the woman's husband, and then had sex on top of the body, using various hunks of the other white meat for extra stimulation.
If I need to explain why this is horrible/repugnant, then I fear for you, and maybe for me, too.
The only thing I can think of which would induce me to take part in such a horrible thing would be extremely-powerful mind-altering drugs. Extremely powerful.
2) You can have consequence-free sex with anyone, fictional or otherwise (anyone that isn't you or me, and you *have* to, so no squirming out on technicalities). Who and why? [Stolen from a real set of questions, somewhere on my friends list.]
Hmm. Casanova, perhaps, just to see what all the fuss was about. If I have to choose, then I'd go for the best.
3) What jargon (word or phrase) related to sex do you find to be the most: Amusing? Clinical? Silly? Incorrectly-used? Colorful? Broadly-applicable?
4) What's the strangest fetish you've ever heard/read about? The most dangerous? The most harmless?
The strangest fetish I can think of, by merit of its extreme particularness, may be for that guy who can only get off if he's dressed in drag as a weather girl and then gets punched in the belly. I want to know how someone finds out something like that is the only thing that will get his rocks off. What else did he do before he discovered this was the combination for him? Wow.
The most dangerous has lots of possibilities. Auto-erotic strangulation springs to mind, readily. I also think of the possibly apocryphal accounts of people who play sexual Russian roulette at AIDS parties. Theoretically, someone at the party is HIV positive, and people have a condom-free orgy with this knowledge. The element of danger is supposed to make the orgy even sexier.
As for the most harmless, well, I think of furries, cosplay, and balloon fetishists. Each of these things has its own danger, though. Letting someone know you do these things could be enough to get you beaten up in the right/wrong environment. But hell, breathing audibly is sometimes enough to get you beaten up.
5) What's the silliest mating ritual you've ever witnessed? The most elaborate? The most interesting (and why)?
I think the silliest would be the times I went to the weight room to train and the men took notice. It was at the university, and I was the only female in the room. At first, the guys didn't notice me, because they were too busy doing their own things. But then, as they noticed me in the room, a funny thing gradually took place. After catching my eye, the guys would stack on ludicrous amounts of weights, and then scream/grunt and work really hard at moving those weights. I'm surprised no one tore their asshole out with the strain. Their technique was absolutely terrible, both in terms of weight-lifting and in picking up chicks. The way to my heart is not through shitting your pants in strain. These guys are very, very silly.
The most elaborate mating ritual is probably the whole courtship and marriage thing, especially when done according to proper etiquette. That's a whole lot of pomp and circumstance all for the benefit of getting laid in a manner acceptable to church and state!
The most interesting mating ritual involves birds or goats. I find them both fascinating. I love the way male pigeons and chickens dance for their potential mates. A fanned-out tail dragging along the ground accompanied by a puffed-out chest and neck, and a strategically-unfolded wing brushing against the dirt can apparently be a very sexy thing. The female's coy looks over her shoulder as she pretends to be disinterested certainly has its human parallels.
The goats I find interesting sheerly because of their parallels to human perversion. What's normal for a goat is deviant indeed for people.
Never pet a yellow-headed goat. Goats are the scat/filth perverts of the animal kingdom. The billy pisses all over his own head (cologne!), staining himself a nasty orangey-yellow, and stinking himself up to high heaven. Of course, their scent glands are already in overdrive during mating season. The piss just makes them smell extra-sexy. But that's not enough. They drink their own piss, too, taking careful aim with an arcing, stenching stream. It bounces off their teeth and spatters all over their chin--an erotic sight for the doe in oestrus. And as if that's not sufficient, billies like to drink all the other goats' piss, too, and gobble up the shits as they cascade out of the nanny goat's arse.
f00 interviewed me, and this is what I came up with. If you're at all squeamish, read no further. I mean it.
1) What sexual act or situation do you find most repugnant/revulsive. (Not necessarily one that you've been involved with, mind you!) Why? What would it take to make you do that act?
I've seen a lot of repugnant shit. I keep thinking about the video of the women fucking themselves with enormous dead eels. That was certainly gross. I'm not sure which was more disturbing: the sight of the pale, floppy snake-like corpses appearing and disappearing within the women's various orifices, or the reason for the women doing this to themselves. Either way, it's a great big ewwwwww....
However, the most disgusting thing I can imagine would probably be a cross between shit-eating and murderous necrophilia. I keep thinking back to that shit omelette video I saw. Now that was horrible. But just as horrible were the "sexy" photos I saw taken by a woman and her boyfriend. They had axe-murdered the woman's husband, and then had sex on top of the body, using various hunks of the other white meat for extra stimulation.
If I need to explain why this is horrible/repugnant, then I fear for you, and maybe for me, too.
The only thing I can think of which would induce me to take part in such a horrible thing would be extremely-powerful mind-altering drugs. Extremely powerful.
2) You can have consequence-free sex with anyone, fictional or otherwise (anyone that isn't you or me, and you *have* to, so no squirming out on technicalities). Who and why? [Stolen from a real set of questions, somewhere on my friends list.]
Hmm. Casanova, perhaps, just to see what all the fuss was about. If I have to choose, then I'd go for the best.
3) What jargon (word or phrase) related to sex do you find to be the most: Amusing? Clinical? Silly? Incorrectly-used? Colorful? Broadly-applicable?
- Amusing: Bumping uglies. It's so apt, and quaint, too!
- Clinical: Sexual intercourse. I don't know why anyone would say that except to be over-the-top, to give a church sermon about wifely duties, or maybe to testify in court. Can you imagine a locker-room conversation like this? "So last night, that hot blonde I picked up at the bar agreed to have sexual intercourse with me. Man! That was the best fucking sexual intercourse I've ever had in my life! She sure knows how to have sexual intercourse...." Bwahahaha!
- Silly: Doing "it". This is the lamest of all sexual euphemisms, I think.
- Incorrectly-used: Felching. So many people incorrectly think it means gerbil-jamming, but that it ain't! (For those of you who don't know, it's sucking semen out of someone's arsehole. Yum yum.)
- Colourful: The Bait N' Tackle. I'm not certain of the veracity of this definition. Apparently, sailors used this one in the old Navy days. "Before you go off for a long, lonely voyage, get yourself a tall jar and fill it completely with earthworms. When you get lonely, open the jar and fuck away. The earthworms will provide some slithery stimulation, and your protein load will keep them nicely fed."
- Broadly-applicable: Fuck. It's the most versatile word, ever! It covers sex in a most general way, and its various permutations can also be used for nonsexual in an astonishingly thorough survey of speech parts.
4) What's the strangest fetish you've ever heard/read about? The most dangerous? The most harmless?
The strangest fetish I can think of, by merit of its extreme particularness, may be for that guy who can only get off if he's dressed in drag as a weather girl and then gets punched in the belly. I want to know how someone finds out something like that is the only thing that will get his rocks off. What else did he do before he discovered this was the combination for him? Wow.
The most dangerous has lots of possibilities. Auto-erotic strangulation springs to mind, readily. I also think of the possibly apocryphal accounts of people who play sexual Russian roulette at AIDS parties. Theoretically, someone at the party is HIV positive, and people have a condom-free orgy with this knowledge. The element of danger is supposed to make the orgy even sexier.
As for the most harmless, well, I think of furries, cosplay, and balloon fetishists. Each of these things has its own danger, though. Letting someone know you do these things could be enough to get you beaten up in the right/wrong environment. But hell, breathing audibly is sometimes enough to get you beaten up.
5) What's the silliest mating ritual you've ever witnessed? The most elaborate? The most interesting (and why)?
I think the silliest would be the times I went to the weight room to train and the men took notice. It was at the university, and I was the only female in the room. At first, the guys didn't notice me, because they were too busy doing their own things. But then, as they noticed me in the room, a funny thing gradually took place. After catching my eye, the guys would stack on ludicrous amounts of weights, and then scream/grunt and work really hard at moving those weights. I'm surprised no one tore their asshole out with the strain. Their technique was absolutely terrible, both in terms of weight-lifting and in picking up chicks. The way to my heart is not through shitting your pants in strain. These guys are very, very silly.
The most elaborate mating ritual is probably the whole courtship and marriage thing, especially when done according to proper etiquette. That's a whole lot of pomp and circumstance all for the benefit of getting laid in a manner acceptable to church and state!
The most interesting mating ritual involves birds or goats. I find them both fascinating. I love the way male pigeons and chickens dance for their potential mates. A fanned-out tail dragging along the ground accompanied by a puffed-out chest and neck, and a strategically-unfolded wing brushing against the dirt can apparently be a very sexy thing. The female's coy looks over her shoulder as she pretends to be disinterested certainly has its human parallels.
The goats I find interesting sheerly because of their parallels to human perversion. What's normal for a goat is deviant indeed for people.
Never pet a yellow-headed goat. Goats are the scat/filth perverts of the animal kingdom. The billy pisses all over his own head (cologne!), staining himself a nasty orangey-yellow, and stinking himself up to high heaven. Of course, their scent glands are already in overdrive during mating season. The piss just makes them smell extra-sexy. But that's not enough. They drink their own piss, too, taking careful aim with an arcing, stenching stream. It bounces off their teeth and spatters all over their chin--an erotic sight for the doe in oestrus. And as if that's not sufficient, billies like to drink all the other goats' piss, too, and gobble up the shits as they cascade out of the nanny goat's arse.
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Pretentia puts you through the wringer.
Date: 2003-06-08 12:11 am (UTC)From:2. Your partner opts for a sex change, what is your reaction?
3. Someone asks you to put teeth in you vagina in the name of art. Do you do it? why/why not?
4. You die and are reincarnated as your choice of either a pigeon, a chinchilla, or an aardvark. What do you choose and why?
5. Which is better, to be unable to cool down or unable to get warmed up?
no subject
Date: 2003-06-09 03:06 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2003-06-10 12:26 pm (UTC)From:1. What exactly does an ER social worker do? Is it crisis intervention, or something rather different?
2. Most health care workers I know are not allowed to share stories about some of the weird and wonky things they see. Do you have anything spectacularly interesting you can share?
3. How did you get into belly dancing, anyhow? Were you born into it?
4. Do you think anorexia has passed from being just a mental condition into being something downright trendy? I mean, the pro-ana sites sure make it seem like I ought to start counting calories and eating nothing but small quantities of celery. All the cool kids do it!
5. Why monkeys?
no subject
Date: 2003-06-10 06:17 pm (UTC)From:1. You've been married for an awfully long time. How has your relationship with your hubby evolved over the years? Ever wonder what your life would be like if you you hadn't gotten married?
2. It sounds like you've had (and currently have) some really significant physical obstacles to overcome given how active you are. How do you manage that?
3. You lead such a full life! What do you like to do in your down time?
4. Tell me about a part of Shanmonster that most people don't know about.
5. One of my best friends is Canadian. Part of our getting-to-know-you process was getting over some of our misconceptions about the other's country. What do you see as the biggest misconception that Americans have about Canadians?
no subject
Date: 2003-06-10 02:53 pm (UTC)From:1. What is the most embarassing thing that has ever happened to you during a dance performance?
2. If your financial situation became much more dire, would you consider becoming a stripper?
3. How do you find so many weird and wonderful links to put on your site?
4. What important life lessons did you learn from growing up around many animals?
5. If you were offered one free plastic surgery of your choice, would you take it? What would you have changed about yourself?
And please send some my way, too!