Out Damned Spot

[shanmonster]

I went to the doctor's office yesterday and got in after a wait of only thirty minutes. I think that might be a record. My visit with the doctor lasted perhaps two minutes at most, and consisted of her looking at the mole on my back and saying, "Yes, that has peculiar pigmentation. We'll schedule you to have it removed at outpatients." So at some point, maybe within the next two months, I'll trade my mysterious mole for a scar. Joy.

After seeing this picture, I was reminded of something I witnessed while working in a provincial park. The mosquitos were particularly bad that day, and several of us were putting on bug dope. We offered some to a co-worker. She was taking a smoke break. As she stood there, cigarette in hand, she admonished us: "I don't know how you can wear that crap. I heard it could give you cancer."

...

And now for a few links before I'm off to the gym.

Miss Alice Malloy: Watch as she plays her homemade theremin bra (SFW).

ACLU Pizza: Could national IDs make call centre work a lot more personalised (thanks, faustian_wish)?

Laura K. Krishna (née Pahl) is a plagiarist. Read the sordid chronicles here: Laura K. Krishna is a Plagiarist, Laura K. Krishna is a Ghost, and Laura K. Krishna is Just a Dumb Kid With a Nice Mom. As one poster said, plagiarism is the highest form of crime within academia, and should be dealt with accordingly.

"Stuckie" the Petrified Dog: "A popular exhibit at Waycross, GA's Southern Forest World, a dog that died and became petrified while stuck in a hollow tree, finally has a name. The museum conducted a contest in which anyone could suggest a name for the dog. The winning entry -- "Stuckie" -- was submitted by petrified dog fans in Florida. Stuckie was discovered inside a tree near the Alabama-Georgia state line in the early 1980s by loggers and donated to the museum. The museum surmised "Stuckie" had been hunting in the 1960s and chased a critter up into the tree, where he became wedged and eerily preserved." You can see a picture of the unfortunate creature here.

Accused goes to extremes: To escape a DUI charge, what would you do to trick a breathalyser? Probably not this.

Thief steals poop from woman walking dog: Oh dear.

Seaman Ship: Ad for the Japanese Navy. It makes me think of The Village People's "In the Navy."

Woman gives birth in car before police pull her over at gunpoint: If you ever really want to speed and have a good excuse for it, just drive with your pants off while having a baby attached to you with an umbilical cord. I'll betcha you'll just get off with a warning.

Intellectual Marijuana: comics and their critics: Dorothy Parker liked comics. The woman just gets cooler and cooler (thanks, warrenelliscom).

12 Year Old Banana And Beach Dentures 1 Of A Kind: More crap people are bidding on on eBay.

My Year With the Dragon: NSFW, and weird as hell.

And as a final note, here are some ancient Chinese notes on sex from the collected work So Nu Ning (AD 618) (thanks, mimisoleil):

The basic aim for the male is to conserve as much as possible, his seminal essence.

During intercourse, the man's body is nourished by the orgasm of the female and strengthened by the retention of his own sperm.

Intercourse for girls from fourteen to eighteen gives the man greater energy, while a woman of thirty and over has little essence left.

Acts of intercourse with a succession of partners strengthens a man's vital powers.

Orgasm is to be avoided and permitted only to make children.

To overcome ejaculation, the man should press his finger on the urethra between the scrotum and the anus and cause the sperm to ascend in his body and nourish his brain.

The proper technique for sex is one time deep and nine times shallow. Repeat.

Sex once in a field or along the roadside is equal to a thousand times in the bed.

Comments

Link for your enjoyment

[hellsphreak.livejournal.com]

http://www.bmezine.com/news/pubring/20050401.html
What an odd couple....

Re: Link for your enjoyment

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

I saw that. I suspect it's an April Fool's joke.

Re: Link for your enjoyment

[hellsphreak.livejournal.com]

I do, too... All the same, it is quite entertaining

[zombienought.livejournal.com]

That tantric sex stuff was the basis of
the Fortunato character in the Wild Cards
series. He was a high-class pimp with a
swollen forehead.

I tried that stuff as a teenager, and
found it quite uncomfortable. Very simi-
lar to how it felt while I was vasecto-
mised.

Miss Alice Malloy would be a lot more worth
sharing if her videos weren't all full of
special effects.

[f00dave.livejournal.com]

... cause the sperm to ascend in his body and nourish his brain.

Rather: ... cause the sperm to be (painfully) diverted into the bladder, where it is pissed out at the next opportunity.

Dumb people and their dumb ideas...