shanmonster: (Default)

Much to my happy surprise, work last night was not bad. We weren't swamped, and that makes all the difference in the world. I did get one very Stupid Woman (SW) call me, though. The call went something like this:

SW: I want to speak with room 336.

Me: I'm sorry, but you've reached central reservations and not a hotel. Which hotel are you looking for? I can give you their number.

SW: I don't know.

Me: Ok, which city is it in?

SW: I don't know.

Me: Uhh, do you know what part of the country it's in?

SW: Calgary!

Me: Yes, that would be a city. We have two hotels in that city: Downtown hotel and Airport hotel.

SW: Can I have their numbers?

Me: Certainly. The number for the downtown hotel is....

SW: Just a minute. I need to find a pen.... Ok.

Me: The downtown number is 555-5555. The number for the airport hotel is....

SW: Oh, it's not at the airport hotel. *click*

The woman sitting across from me was getting stupid callers, too. One caller asked if our hotels (luxury hotels, mind you) have bathtubs. Oh dear.

And now here are some links for your enjoyment and amazement. Enjoy. Amaze.

America We Stand As One: Patriotism is such a scary thing.

Michelle Berger: A mother of four shows how moms can be really, really buff.

Teenager In Trouble For Stealing Corpse Head: "Court documents said the suspect allegedly talked of using the man's head as a bong or a pipe for smoking marijuana."

Robotic camel riders are ready to race: Now that child jockeys are banned, robots are doing the riding. I think it would be funnier if they got monkeys instead, but maybe that's just me.

The Name is Carsone, Johnny Carsone: The most narcissistic cover letter I've ever read.

Pope reborn as superhero in Colombian comic: I know I linked to this story before, but this incarnation has a glorious picture!

Unintentionally sexual comic book covers: A little NSFW, and a little funny.

Date: 2005-04-13 05:06 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] thatnickguy.livejournal.com
Ha. You should post that over at Customers Suck. That would just fit fit right in. (http://www.livejournal.com/community/customers_suck/)

Date: 2005-04-13 05:11 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] longpig.livejournal.com
My very favourite SW was the American who, after hearing my intro spiel (contains ONE WORD of French), demanded rather rudely -- not to mention loudly and slowly -- to speak to someone who understood English.

Date: 2005-04-13 05:36 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] shanmonster.livejournal.com
I had one woman call who wanted to make absolutely certain that her hotel room would come equipped with a Bible. I had another who wanted curling irons provided.

When people aren't stupid, they're often weird.

Date: 2005-04-13 06:51 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] abraxasrutrem.livejournal.com
hehehe...

SW's...Imagine if you will...I used to work in an adult book/toy store with a strip club attached.
SW: what's that?
me: it's called a butt plug, ma'am.
SW: what do you do with it?
me: !?!

or

SW: what's this?
me: a vibrator
SW: oh, well what's that red thing?
me: a vibrator
SW: oh really...and that cute pink thing with the bunny?
me: a vibrator
SW: fascinating...and that blue snake charmer thing over there?
me: a vibrator
SW: wow...and this, what is this thing?
me: a vibrator
SW: Ok. What's a vibrator for?
me: !?!

and then there are the SM's.

me: No sir, no sir! You cannot take toys into the private video booths!
SM: Why?
me:!?!


Re: teenager stealing corpse skull.
Only two words come to mind. Pot head! (HA! I slay myself)

ehem...sorry.

The only thing missing from Mr. Carsone's letter was the measurements of his "leading edge of masculinity".

gag

Date: 2005-04-13 06:52 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] krimon.livejournal.com
Someone already re-edited that (http://homepage.mac.com/joshfowler/.Movies/america-fuckyeah-westandasone.mov) with the America, Fuck Yeah! song from Team America, World Police.

Date: 2005-04-14 06:35 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] silver-insanity.livejournal.com
a much catchier tune I think!

Date: 2005-04-14 07:04 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] krimon.livejournal.com
The sardonic always trumps the saccharine

Date: 2005-04-14 05:31 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] sorceror.livejournal.com

What is this Ameruhkuh he sings of?

Date: 2005-04-14 06:33 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] silver-insanity.livejournal.com
His hair was so 80's guitar rocker!

BuffMother! Michelle Berger

Date: 2005-04-16 03:00 am (UTC)From: (Anonymous)
Thanks for putting my link on your blog! I think that it is awesome, Stay Buff, Michelle Berger www.buffmother.com

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