Octopus Review

[shanmonster]

Before I came to work, I was treated to a screening of Octopus. I thought I knew what would make the octopus a giant evil creature as soon as I saw the nuclear sub, but I was wrong.

It's wasn't a mutant octopus due to radioactivity.

It was an mutant octopus due to artificial anthrax and an iron deficiency.

Buh?

The movie is chock-full of all sorts of bad. The obviously fake submarine bounces and crashes and rolls all over the place, but somehow, maybe due to top-secret gyroscopic technology, the interior is always level. And the interior is very large--unlike what I suppose a real sub might have. I can't imagine your typical submarine having nice and high cathedral ceilings, but this one does. I guess it's a deluxe model.

I don't think any of the movie clichés are skipped. We have our token black guy. We have our squabbling heroes. We have a Shakespeare-quoting bad guy. We have a hot chick. And although there's no nudity, there are plenty of gratuitous underwear shots (both men and women, for equal-opportunity leering). And plenty of people die, often for no plot-related reason.

Although the fun parts are very fun, there are far too many badly acted, slow-paced, octopus-free scenes to make the movie very entertaining.

Comments

[f00dave.livejournal.com]

"Octopus-free scenes". *snort* Good one!

GODS, but that movie sucked....

[zombienought.livejournal.com]

And the token black guy dies, right?

You should totally head to Edmonton and
do submarine research.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Of course he dies!

I don't like submarines. I'd best keep away from the West Edmonton Mall.

[zombienought.livejournal.com]

They're full of seamen!

[twopiearr.livejournal.com]

so you disliked it so much, that you're...giving it a purchase link on amazon?

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Just so people can see other reviews.

[f00dave.livejournal.com]

That and she gets a kickback from people who buy it via that link, or anything else (referral fee). Don't you, sweety? ;-)

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Yep. Every time someone buys something at Amazon through one of my links, I make a small commission. It's my main way of doing dance training. I purchase most of my instructional dance videos in this way.

[zombienought.livejournal.com]

Holy cow.