shanmonster | Another Day, Another Book

Nipple Extractor: I grew up without nipples. I knew that one day, they would descend, and that would be the day when I could proudly call myself a woman. But I was growing worried. By the time I was 17, I still had no nipples. At 21, I was beginning to panic. When I turned 27, I finally found these nipple extractors, and they saved my self-esteem.

With two simple twists of the wrist, I flowered. Now I could proudly disrobe at the local topless beach, where before I'd been shamed.

I've just been debating whether or not I should attempt to locate superfluous nipples elsewhere on my body.

...

I finished Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince last night. Now I'm on to James Morrow's City of Truth. I'd like to dump off a bunch of links before I get on with my day. Believe it or not, all of the links are safe for work....

In-Souls: "In-Souls™ inserts are designed to provide a tangible support to assist Christians to literally "walk in the word of the Lord." Worn in the right shoe, each one provides a related scripture and affirmation. To enhance the spiritual walk with God, the inserts help one to "stand" on His Word, meditating on it day and night. Inserts may be alternated daily to help cultivate the word of God in your life. Look for other In-Souls sets to cover a variety of topics – from trust, obedience, patience and redemption to marriage, work and body image."

Dress Your Gay Dog: I failed. My dog isn't gay enough to go to the party.

episode iii, the backstroke of the west: Chinese subtitling on bootleg DVDs is hilarious!

Cultural Differences as Wide as the Parting of the Red Sea: McDonald's French advertising campaign isn't something you'd expect to see in North America.

Sprayonmud: Decorate your SUV.

Cambridge digs Canadian's 'Canterbury Tales' rap: "A Canadian performer has been hired by Cambridge University in Britain to perform his hip-hop version of the ancient tales to British high school students."

Teapot Cult Under Attack: "A mob has fire-bombed the headquarters of a bizarre Malaysian cult built around a giant teapot."

Pit Bull vs. Porcupine: Ook. Poor dog couldn't have been terribly smart.

Squirrel fires regular occurrence in Canadian border town: Even squirrels have fundamentalist fanatics, it would seem.

Spider the Tylercore: Hardcore/Death metal fronted by a five-year old.

Crazy Attack Dog: "He bite my vagina, but his teeth aren't very big."

[Baaaaaaaaaby sea lion!]