shanmonster | I Love My Readership

It's time to play, what's in ShanMonster's guestbook? Well, here are a few interesting entries from the past few weeks:

Jerome Cazmir Yakelevicz writes, "i need a hand of glory please help". Well, sorry Mr.Yakelevicz, but I cannot give you a hand of glory. I don't know what sort of nefarious purposes you have in mind. Besides, I need mine for peeping purposes.

Boogidy writes,

the other day I found a bump on my Kitten. so me being 11 and my sisster being 16 I called her over .she said she didnt Know what it was.and when she felt it she said that she could feel something inside the bump so she squeesed it and out poped a maggot! Iwas holding the cat while she squeesed so i saw the maggot moving as soon asit popped out .

We live on a pig farm and we had some iodine handy so we squirted some on the wound .Now today our kitten is sick and not eating hopefully we will be able to go to the vet tomarow but do you have any suggestions

Eeurgh.

Patricia Hamilton, after googling John Parkhurst, wrote:

OMG!! I think this guy is a relative of mine!! I descend from Christopher Parkhurst whose brother John was Bishop of Norwich under (I think) Elizabeth 1. If this is the same John Parkhurst then he's my many-times great-uncle! And he was burning people at the stake--Oh my God!!!!! I'm in shock!!!

Honestly, all humanity is the product of generations of murderers and rapists. Even if John Parkhurst isn't Ms. Hamilton's ancestor, he's likely someone else's.

Someone anonymous confuses me with, "satanic fuckin belly dancers, what the fuck are you into. the average visitor to this site is 8 years old. read the guestbook. why would you want to introduce them to this shit. if only stupidity were painful, you'd have to take morphine."

The extremely famous DJ Lebowitz wrote, "I am pleased that you started singing "Because of my Hemorrhoids" for no particular reason." You're welcome! I feel like I've been singled out by a god....

"A Witch" wrote me saying, "I love witches. I am looking for a mate. if you are a young, fertile wizard please send me a message at hotwitch666@aol.com." So, for all you horny witches, here's your chance! You're welcome.

Martin says, "i was looking for information about witchcraft and found your site but now i'm a satanist and practice wierd sex and abuse myself. i got an 'a' on my project but was lured into the evil underworld. please help." He already got an A. How much more help does he really need?

"Feminist" says,

I am very disturbed and disappointed in this site, the images objectify women and the ad-ins to the pieces, by i am assuming the author of the site, are sexist and revolting for an educated women to read. How can you say "Eve wasn't subserivent enough" I'm assuming you mean the apple and eden senario, wow i think you should keep your own ideas to yourself so you don't infect others. Look at the herstory a little more and wonder why Lilith wanted to be independent and not be less then Adam when both were made equal.

Oy.

And then Satan, who currently resides in Rijeka, Croatia asks, "What taste have a vomit and shit together?" I thought that Satan, of all people, should know that.