shanmonster | Time To Take Another Dump

Before we get on with the links, check out this lame joke (thanks scootropmeat):

A cop was patrolling at night in a well-known spot. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing. The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look.

He sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, knitting.

Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window. The young man lowers his window. "Uh, yes, officer?"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm reading a magazine, sir."

Pointing toward the young woman in the back seat the cop says, "And what is she doing?" The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's knitting a pullover sweater."

Now, the cop is totally confused. A young couple. Alone, in a car, at night in a lovers' lane. And nothing obscene is happening! "What's your age, young man?"

"I'm 25, sir."

"And her .. what's her age?"

The young man looks at his watch and replies: "She'll be 18 in 11 minutes."

Your Mama: This video just ain't right (thanks, Dmitri).

Best License Plate Ever.

Tattoo wrongness exhibits (NSFW):

I would like to have one of these, although I definitely wouldn't be able to fill out the top half. I also suspect it wouldn't be very good for doing roundhouse kicks in.

And hooray for parasites! Check out these nifty critters: Body-snatching hair worms and tongue-replacing crustaceans. I want one of each!