I'm Finding My Way

[shanmonster]

I've been kept busy, these last few days, and the trend looks like it shall be continuing. At long last, I have found a group of people to play Vampire with, and there was much rejoicing.

This afternoon, I'm taking a free class on how to use Microsoft Word. Up to recently, I'd only ever used WordPerfect, and I'm finding Word is not very user-friendly, and is not very intuitive. However, it does seem to be the current standard, and it is what's on my new computer, so I'd best gain an understanding of it!

Tonight, I attend my first class in Buddhist meditation. A couple of weeks ago, I had a rather bizarre, middle-of-the-night, realization that I wanted to learn more about Buddhism. Since I see no reason not to pursue this whim, I begin tonight.

My first job interview has been lined up. I'm meeting with the head of the guest services department at a nearby hotel. Yes, it's with the same company I worked with before. Although it's certainly not a dream job, it could be very convenient. We shall see....

So, I've been meeting people, trying out new things, getting more exercise, eating well, reading lots of books, watching lots of films, wandering the city, and doing an assortment of other good stuff. I have a major dance performance lined up for this summer, and am registered for a Butoh workshop next month in Toronto. Things are gradually falling into place.

Hurry up, f00dave, and get your buns over here! You're missing out on all the fun!

And now for some links:

Farmer tells sex trap tale: I think I'm in love with this old coot.

It's Just a Plant: A kids' picture book about marijuana. I wonder how many schools it's been banned from?

Vet faked dog's death to give pet away: Vets came up with a cock-eyed conspiracy to fake an epileptic dog's death. "When I heard she was still alive, I literally screamed and went into hysterics, and I was in shock for three days." In shock for three days? Three days? Really? Hrm.

Finnegan: How cute! Orphaned squirrel gets adopted by a dog. Woman plans on returning it to the wild once it's an adult, where it's doomed to live a short, nasty life since it will no longer have a fear of dogs. Hrm. I hope she changes her mind and keeps it as a housepet (thanks, real_bethy).

Mathematical LEGO Sculptures: "I'm not quite sure how it first occurred to me to build a Möbius band out of LEGO bricks, but the thought was irresistible."

SuperSoaker Oozinator: Let's get this straight. It's a squirt gun that you have to pump for a while before it shoots gobbets of white goo onto people. Riiiight. That's not overtly sexual at all, is it?

Horrible Asian Singer: She starts off not TOO bad, but then the trainwreck begins.

Toyota Humanity: Ok, this new advertising campaign is just plain creepy!

Comments

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Damn! I'll see if I can find it elsewhere.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Ok, I found another version of the story. Unfortunately, it's unpeppered with the colourful turns of phrase in the original article. Here's what I could find. Here's a picture of the "lovely" lady. And here's a picture of the old coot threatening the photographer.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

“A 76-year-old Vegreville farmer took the witness stand yesterday in an Edmonton Court of Queen’s Bench trial where he is the alleged victim in a case of extortion, sex assault, unlawful confinement and assault with a weapon. Peppering his colourful testimony with constant swearing, racist references, snipes at the defence lawyer and his woes of sexual inadequacy, Selmer Field recounted a bizarre tale of allegedly being set up and blackmailed. Field testified the accused, Joanne Marie Alexandruk, 47, showed up at a Vegreville cafe where he was eating lunch on Jan. 31, 2005, and told him to go to her home. Once there, he said she stripped down to her panties, pulled off his pants and sweater and ordered him to get on the bed. Then a man came into the bedroom, said ‘Now I got you’ and began snapping photographs. ‘He was someone from Mars, I think. He had a beard and was a wild man,’ said Field… In cross-examination, Field admitted trying to have sex with Alexandruk several times, but said he couldn’t perform so therefore it didn’t count as cheating on his wife. ‘If you can’t get a hard-on, it’s no go, there is no sex,’ said Field. ‘There was no sex. It was like a half-cooked wiener. I’m like a steer.’ At one point Field viewed the naked photos Reimer took of him and said: ‘Hell of a good-looking man, I’d say,’ and bragged about having a good chest for a 76-year-old man… The farmer had several testy exchanges with defence lawyer Darin Sprake, demanding he stop grilling him and trying to trap him, and once looked like he was going to go after him, saying ‘If I was 30 years younger …’” — Edmonton Sun (CA)

[shangchi.livejournal.com]

Sounds like something I would do when I'm that age.

Hell, sounds like something I would have done recently. I have no doubt my performance would have been a bit better, but he may be more photogenic than me.

[duhastbees.livejournal.com]

"it's just a plant" is a book I'm SO buying for my pregnant friends.
genius.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

I thought you might like that!

[duhastbees.livejournal.com]

there need to be more non-denominational potheads out there. it's good to see they're writing books.