shanmonster | What do you want to know?

Ask me, and I'll tell you.

The ShanMonster Oracle is open for business.

Current Music: more rain

I probably just haven't been reading your LJ closely enough but I thought you had moved to Toronto? Or was that just a vacation slash trip?

I live in Kitchener, ON, which is about 90 minutes out of Toronto. I'm back in Fredericton because

f00dave had a paraphrenia attack a couple of weeks ago. He's ok now. I'm in Fredericton for a few more weeks (or less, if I get a job offer).

Ahhh, okay. I thought so! Yay for me actually paying attention!

You win!

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Rome's fate was to become serialized in countless cheesy movies involving men in togas/short skirts and brazen, power-mad hussies.

I don't foresee anything so sordid or glamourous in your future. But you could work to change that, if you're so inclined.

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Have you watched I, Claudius yet? If not, you really should!

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I haven't read Claudius the God, but I have read I, Claudius. The BBC version takes a few liberties, which I don't think is a bad thing. In some ways, the BBC Caligula is a much more colourful character than the literary one. You've just got to see what happens to his sister/wife....

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Re: Obligatory:

From:

shanmonster.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-06-03 06:39 pm (UTC) - Expand

Why is everybody always picking on me?

It's the zits. Everyone likes to pop zits.

Bathe in Clearasil, and your skin will be dewy and unpickable.

It didn't work. :(

Did you completely immerse yourself?

O Wise Sage:

What do you see in my future?

I see some seriously bad-ass chocolate pie!

Oooh, yeah....

Mmmm....bring it on!!!

Is it wise for me to place my faith in the words of oracles?

Magic 8-Ball says answer unclear. Try again.

I have had a strange, pallid, tendril-like growth
not more than a few millimetres on the tip of my
tongue for about two months now. Recently, the base
has gained a dark reddish colour on the inside. What
the fuck is it?

I believe it is the penis of your internally-conjoined twin, finally erupting its way to the surface. Eat lots of aphrodisiacs, and soon your oral sex skills will be legendary.

The Burger King mascot: where does he reign and who are his subjects?

The Burger King reigns the surreal tv world of Christianity and fast food commercials, where he has an unsavoury (not to mention unkosher) relationship going on with the Dairy Queen. Although the geography of the Land of Dairy Queen is much more concrete with its towering cliffs of chocolate and rivers of molten fudge, only the Burger King has Christians covered.

I believe the Burger King and Buddy Christ are one and the same. Check out that creepy leer, and you'll see what I mean.

You're with the King, now, baby! :-0

There should be a ban on unkosher fast food relationships!:)

Any plans to visit SoCal with your hubby in the near future?

Not in the near future, although my sister is already down there in my lieu.

Oh, well say hi for me!

You could do that! She's

raine_storm.

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Alas, but there are no magical fat-targeting exercises. The only way to reduce fat in a specific area is by surgical means. And the belly is generally the easiest place to gain, and the hardest place to lose the blub.

By increasing muscle mass (maintaining/building muscle burns a helluva lot of fat--I recommend weight training), increasing aerobic exercise, and eating several small meals daily (avoiding excess sugars, simple carbohydrates, starches, and pretty much all processed foods in general), you can burn off, and keep off, those extra inches. It won't be easy, but it is possible.

As for exercises, I'm fond of the basic crunch (no cheating and resting your shoulders on the floor between crunches, and making sure your lower back is pressed into the floor), the crunch on an incline bench, the crunch with legs straight in the air, the crunch with knees up in a 90-degree angle, and "bicycles" (crunches with knees up in right angles, feet pedalling as you crunch up with alternating arms, reaching toward your toes).

If you have access to a Roman chair at a gym, leg-ups are great, too. Support yourself on your forearms, and raise both legs straight out in front of you, hold, and slowly release back down. Don't swing, as momentum won't do diddly for you.

If two legs is too hard, do one leg at a time. If that's still too hard, do it with bent legs.

And if it's all too easy for you, do it while hanging onto an overhead bar, instead.

That one hurts my tummy just to think about it, but I plan on starting them before the year is out....

Do my co-workers know about me?
If so, how much do they know?
And do they mind? I mean, I thought they would mind.
Maybe they don't.

Yes. They see you when you sit next to them. Although you believe you've perfected your invisibility shield, you have not. They smile and nod around you a lot, don't they? They don't really mind, but they think you're weird.

What makes you a monster?

The tentacles, of course.

Shanmoster!....
go chech

ttp://www.myspace.com/sunnyfxk

I do believe that you can definitely well compete... and win, why not!!!!
Do try
RosalbaKolb@hotmail.com

Ah, but the link is broken.

OK, Shanmaster, sorry, try this:

http://www.myspace.com/sunnyfx

copy and paste in your URL field.
You have a lot of stories which can be conveniently used as triggering ideas, like stub...
Do try
good luck!
and let me know.
Hugs&kisses
RosalbaKolb@hotmail.com

Ooooh. Shan*master*.

What, oh Wise Woman Without a Wig, do you foresee in my future?

Chocolate!

Oh my god! I am 60 lbs overweight already....

Oh wise ShanOracle; I am moving to Fredericton soon to get out of my hometown village hellhole lest I start finally believing that the looks I'm getting for being unmarried to my boyfriend at 21 are deserved. Or before the rain stops long enough for the Jehovahs Witnesses to start crawling out to attack me in the mornings again. Could you advise me of some fun/interesting/insane classes to partake of up there? They can be of the fitness or educational variety, I'm just interested in hearing a hodgepodge of things you've done in Freddy. :) I suffer thoroughly from "must-see-learn-and-do" everything syndrome, so I expect I will be indulging myself almost as badly as when I started university !

Thanks!

Let's see....

-Kung fu runs Tuesdaya and Thursdays in the dance studio at UNB (8-9:30 during school year, 7:30-9 right now).
-Stacy Macklem teaches belly dance at the Kingswood Fitness Centre.
-Ruth Merrit teaches Ashtanga yoga in the South Gym either Tuesdays or Thursdays (can't remember). She's an awesome yoga instructor.
-The GoodLife Fitness Centre at the Superstore has all sorts of group classes. I think their memberships are a bit pricey, though. The YMCA is more affordable, and has some of the same classes. I'm not sure about the fitness classes at UNB.
-If you're interested in t'ai chi chu'an, go study at the Wu school on King St. They really know their stuff.
-The UNB Art Centre also has an art club, if you're interested in that sort of thing. They offer frequent workshops at affordable prices.
-The Underground Cafe on Charlotte St. has vegan and fair trade products, and also hosts all sorts of workshops/concerts/etc.
-All sorts of indie music shows at various clubs, if that's your sort of thing. Lots of punk/folk/Irish/rock/etc.
-There are always art/craft clases/workshops offered by various places. You can see posters at the galleries, the craft school, and at the art supply shop on Queen St.
-You could also join