It's Like A Sex a Minute to Be Around Me

[shanmonster]

While walking up the stairs to the grocery store, I was suddenly stricken with a sneeze attack of Heraklean proportions. On the third sneeze (always the weird one for me), I was horrified to see an enormous bukkake of phlegm burst like a squib onto my pant leg. I screamed, and snowy_kathryn looked over. She promptly erupted in peals of grossed-out laughter.

I didn't have a tissue, but I couldn't walk around with this snot loogie all over my otherwise pristine black velvet pants, so I scooped it up with my hand and tried flinging it onto the sidewalk. I felt like Spiderman trying (and failing) his web-tossing for the first time. Strands of human natto clung to my hand.

Finally, thankfully, it flew off me like a gelatinous frisbee.

snowy_kathryn says this is what it's like to hang around with a sexy model/belly dancer.

Indeed.

Comments

[uber-wench.livejournal.com]

You put the 'A' in sexay!

Great...

[graydancer.livejournal.com]

...now I'm going to have the phrase "gelatinous frisbee" going through my head all day.

Ah, the exotic life you lead!

[real-bethy.livejournal.com]

Were you a sailor in a previous life? :)

Entertaining

[(Anonymous)]

A month or more back I saw the famous chicken dance video on google and laughed my head off. There was also a link to your live journal or usertag on the page. Since then I've regularly visited your journal and keep coming back. It is always good for a laugh, a story, reference, or one of the many fun articles you toss up.

Just wanted to say I enjoy what you do here and it wouldn't be the same if I could not read your page each day at work.

Re: Entertaining

[sageincave.livejournal.com]

Shame on you, Anonymous! You should be working at work!