![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
It's that time again: the time when I list all the freaky-deeky search terms which led people to my webpage. I may be jaded about a lot of things, but almost every month, I discover a search term so goddamned odd that it makes my jaw drop. Here are my favourites du mois.
* chinchilla porn (Not with my willas. Squire's a blasé eunuch!)
* ass dancing (This is technically a better term for raqs sharqi than belly dancing)
* bigfoot skin (The tastiest part of Kentucky Fried Bigfoot)
* costume vagina patterns (That's one hell of a Hallowe'en get-up!)
* dancing vagina page (I want to see an animation of this)
* shakespeare nudity (Shakespeare was a porn star in the 17th century, dontcha know?)
* tarzan nude (Shakespeare slash Tarzan. Hmmm....)
* us army sew on silver wings (When they run out of things to shoot, they spend their time in quilting bees)
* vagina skin recipes (Who looked for this, anyway? Ed Gein?)
* 26 world championships stick them up your ass (I really don't understand this)
* she shrunk him to doll size then used him as dildo (Hee!)
* why does my skin go purple (Because you rub on Barney too much)
* 3ft dildo (What's the point? Could you use it like a baseball bat?)
* churchupskirt (Gotta watch out for those naughty Pentecostal women)
* gynecomastia chicken (Is someone looking for pictures of roosters with big tits?)
* semen good for skin (But would you really want to walk around looking like there's eggwhite all over your face?)
* siamese britney spears photos (Conjoined Britneys?)
* squirting lesbian canada (This makes me think squirt guns ought to be shaped like women with mullets)
* bukkake sperm hospital (This sounds like the name of a disturbing soap opera)
* lice vagina good pictures (That doesn't seem like a good anything, to me)
* nude cheesecake (Nude cheesecake isn't nearly as tasty as cheesecake with cherry sauce)
* wild cannibalism pictures (Heaven forfend you find domesticated anthropophagy)
* wrinkle in time nudity (That's just wrong.)
* naughty vacuuming or hoovering (Isn't that dangerous? Sounds like a Darwin Award in the making.)
* pictures of michael jackson with erection (Ew ew ew ew ew!)
* sawing britney spears in half magic (Here comes those sawing women in half search terms again)
* vertical sawing a girl stories (See?)
* what does mean morbid nudity (Think of Don King, Bea Arthur, Nancy Reagan, and Dom Deluise naked in a hot tub, and you're on the right track)
* chinchilla porn (Not with my willas. Squire's a blasé eunuch!)
* ass dancing (This is technically a better term for raqs sharqi than belly dancing)
* bigfoot skin (The tastiest part of Kentucky Fried Bigfoot)
* costume vagina patterns (That's one hell of a Hallowe'en get-up!)
* dancing vagina page (I want to see an animation of this)
* shakespeare nudity (Shakespeare was a porn star in the 17th century, dontcha know?)
* tarzan nude (Shakespeare slash Tarzan. Hmmm....)
* us army sew on silver wings (When they run out of things to shoot, they spend their time in quilting bees)
* vagina skin recipes (Who looked for this, anyway? Ed Gein?)
* 26 world championships stick them up your ass (I really don't understand this)
* she shrunk him to doll size then used him as dildo (Hee!)
* why does my skin go purple (Because you rub on Barney too much)
* 3ft dildo (What's the point? Could you use it like a baseball bat?)
* churchupskirt (Gotta watch out for those naughty Pentecostal women)
* gynecomastia chicken (Is someone looking for pictures of roosters with big tits?)
* semen good for skin (But would you really want to walk around looking like there's eggwhite all over your face?)
* siamese britney spears photos (Conjoined Britneys?)
* squirting lesbian canada (This makes me think squirt guns ought to be shaped like women with mullets)
* bukkake sperm hospital (This sounds like the name of a disturbing soap opera)
* lice vagina good pictures (That doesn't seem like a good anything, to me)
* nude cheesecake (Nude cheesecake isn't nearly as tasty as cheesecake with cherry sauce)
* wild cannibalism pictures (Heaven forfend you find domesticated anthropophagy)
* wrinkle in time nudity (That's just wrong.)
* naughty vacuuming or hoovering (Isn't that dangerous? Sounds like a Darwin Award in the making.)
* pictures of michael jackson with erection (Ew ew ew ew ew!)
* sawing britney spears in half magic (Here comes those sawing women in half search terms again)
* vertical sawing a girl stories (See?)
* what does mean morbid nudity (Think of Don King, Bea Arthur, Nancy Reagan, and Dom Deluise naked in a hot tub, and you're on the right track)
