Human Shishkabob

[shanmonster]

I had a one-on-one intermediate pole dance class yesterday. The heat and humidity made it difficult for me to get a grip on the pole, but the class was great. The instructor fine-tuned a few of my moves, making them go from ok to strong, well-orchestrated spins of beauty. It all had to do with lower arm placement, so now I know what I need to work on.

I worked on a variety of spins, including the fireman, the waterslide, the butterfly, the corkscrew, the bottle opener, and the jellyfish. I have a long way to go before I get the jellyfish, I think. Or maybe I just need a cooler, less sweaty day. I couldn't hold my position. Perspiration made me glide down the pole prematurely.

At one point, the instructor asked me to walk up to the pole, really working through my hips. So I did a walking Maya, at which point she said in astonishment, "You move like a snake!"

Last week, while dancing at the Renn, another woman told me I danced like a cobra.

Sssss....

Today is the beginning of my new, super-duper workout mode. I'm doing a cycling class at noon, ballet at 5, and weight-training at 6:30.

And now that my dance classes have been cut back until September, I need to find a part-time job, too. Ugh.

Link time.

How a fake word from The Simpsons ended up in a perfectly cromulent string theory paper: Does this mean "cromulent" will join "doh" in the dictionary?

Hermes Ad: Posted just because I think the manicure is awesome.

Intercourse and Intelligence: The dumber you are, the more sex you get. "Only 65% of MIT graduate students have had sex."

Cervical Piercing: And he did it himself.

Cautionary Tales of Swords: Swords are dangerous, mmkay?

Comments

[zombienought.livejournal.com]

"Cromulent" already has a listing at
dictionary.com. I checked it back in
December.

I wish I knew what my testosterone
levels were before I got hormonised.
I had the smarts, the high drive, and
the male pattern baldness, but never
the masculine phsyique. Maybe they
would've seen different results if
they hadn't lumped the last few
standard deviations into 130+?

Then again, maybe researching Ivy
League schools tends to only sample
uptight white kids...

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

I suspect there are also plenty of uptight Asian kids, too.

[sockatume.livejournal.com]

Funnily enough the action I've managed to get is all down to my tech speak. If you're confident about it and use the right metaphors when trying to describe things, it drives the ladies wild. And it's a great excuse to be chatting in someone's ear at a noisy party.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

I'm well conversant with sexual metaphor, both technical and colourful. Hee!

[sockatume.livejournal.com]

My eyebrow just arched so much, it leapt off my face.

[real-bethy.livejournal.com]

There is no way in hell I would let anyone pierce my cervix.:)

I hate medical studies

[sageincave.livejournal.com]

This one explains the shortage of smart, masculine men with high sex drives in my past.

[tdj.livejournal.com]

"Only 65% of MIT graduate students have had sex."

You have no idea how much it means to me, knowing that I beat the average at something while I was there.

[goth-hobbit.livejournal.com]

I yoinked the string theory story to re-post for the benefit of Simpsons and physics nerds on my list.

Sounds like your pole-dancing classes are going well. I'm tempted to look into them myself, but I know that I need to get my upper body back into shape before I could consider it. Cripes, I'd just like to start bellydancing again on a regular basis. Soon, I hope; my schedule should be much less chaotic after August.

Also, the results of the IQ vs. sexual contact study don't surprise me in the least. They used graduate students as their study sample. From my experience, grad students are too damned tired for sex. They're in grad school! I'd be far more interested to see how the numbers shook out in a more normalized environment; undergrads, for instance, or post-scholastic.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

I have upper body strength because of my pole dancing classes. If you take two or three pole classes a week, you'll be doing chin-ups in a month.

[miami-pony.livejournal.com]

regarding your phrasing of "he did it himself"
Umm... guys don't have a cervix :)

Secondly I can just imagine the sperm now:
"WHEEEEE! DUUUUDE!! Alright, whoa, whoa that was awesome.. 30 billion of us just went for the FASTEST rollercoaster ride and now.. where the fuck are we? Oh yeah, I've heard about this place.. warm and pink and there's nifty chemical gradients so you know which direction to swim. Let's GO GO GO GO! Waitaminnit... WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE!!! Nobody told me there's be a BIG FUCKING METAL BALL in the way! FUUUUUUCK!"

That's what sperm think.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

You're wrong.

Some guys do. Specifically, FtM transsexuals.

And sperm just might think that.

[miami-pony.livejournal.com]

Aw now you're just being a smartass.. that's my job :)

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Nope! Not a smart-ass! The piercer/piercee in question is FtM.

[miami-pony.livejournal.com]

I tend to be more old-school in my definitions of male and female, when dealing with genitalia anyway.
Most importantly this explains why the heck the individual didn't look as female as I'd expected. Thanks for clearing that up.