Line of the night: Hey beautiful. Wanna go camping with just me next weekend?

[shanmonster]

I was the drunk magnet tonight at Renn. One guy (wearing sandals with white socks) tried to hook me up with his red-shirted boyfriend in the most blatant and awkward fashion, but I managed to scrape the boyfriend off with ease. When red shirt struck out, sandal boy decided to have a shot at me. He introduced himself to me five separate times this evening. He asked me where I'm from about three or four times. After he fell asleep twice, he and his equally inebriated boyfriend were escorted from the premises, and I lost my androgen- and alcohol-drenched entourage. Oh darn.

I wonder which one of the two barfed all over the bathroom? Apparently, a three-inch toothpick was amidst all the vomit. What is he? Some sort of sword swallower? No wonder he puked.

It's just a question of time until I'm going to need to use some kung fu on a club night. So far, I've been lucky. My unwanted suitors have all been drunk and harmless. But damn, they sure can be irritating....

Comments

[zombienought.livejournal.com]

Obviously, by going alone, and not wearing
a burka, you're asking for slobbery drunk
attention!

Didn't you use kung fu once this year al-
ready? Or was that tai chi?

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

I did use a bit of kung fu a while back. I modified a palm strike into a nice, solid push, sending a guy back a few feet where he apologized to me.

I'm still waiting for the time when I have to hurt someone. It hasn't happened yet, and I rather hope it doesn't.

[momus.livejournal.com]

I alway preferred "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?" but, to be honest, that never really got me anywhere.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

My favourite line that worked (for real), was uttered by my old army buddy Tony: "Ever been fucked up the ass by an airborne ranger? Wanna?"

party safety solutions

[(Anonymous)]

I always recommend to my students that they carry a bic or similar writing implement for use as a yawara stick. For more serious difficulties, the cap can be discarded. We practice this in class.

As a woman, whom I presume has no police record, you could probably discard a pen in some guy's thorax and never do a day's time, although you would need to hire an expensive lawyer. You can only do this once, at least under the same name, so don't use it lightly.

A hatpin, artfully concealed, is a classic response, although a bit flimsy for repeated use. I'm speaking from personal experience, in the seventies I used to keep one under each lapel.

--bdw