shanmonster | I am the Keymaster

So last night

snowy_kathryn and I walk over to visit

schwartzung. When we get to his building, we see the main doors are locked. Undaunted, I head over to his corner of the building and project my voice up several stories and in through his balcony door.

His head pokes out over the ledge.

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your beard," I cry, but he instead tosses down his keys.

I pick them off the ground and Kathryn and I head back to the front door. While I pet a very friendly cat, Kathryn tries the keys in the lock. Noting that it's been a while, I look up from the kitty and see her doing what can only be called key-fucking the lock.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"Fucking the lock," she says.

I get up and walk over. "Let me try." I take the keys from her. No, the key she's using is obviously the correct one. I put the key in the lock and turn. Nothing. I turn it the other way. Nothing. I try to adjust how far in the key is and repeat the process. Nothing.

I'm about ready to go and yell back through the balcony door when a young man comes toward us from inside the building, shaking his head and smiling. He's very obviously thinking something along the lines of "oh, you poor dumb girls. Let me help you."

So he comes out, lets the door shut, and says, "Here, I'll show you."

The guy tries to open the door, but his key won't work, either. His bemused look of condescension turns into embarrassment as it become obvious that we are all in the setup scene of a romantic comedy. So our future love interest has tried to impress us with his heroics, only to fallen prey to the plot device lock.

We are eventually rescued by yet another denizen of the building (who manages not to lock himself out of the building).

It's only hours later that I realize we could have gone in through the back door....