shanmonster | No Rest for the Wicked

Forget acting my age. I've been up to no good at all, staying up all last night to watch Pantera videos, wage an epic penny/pillow battle with James, and shoot

schwartzung gangsta-style with a glue gun.

Two days after a particularly brutal kung fu class, my abs are still sore, especially when I laugh or stretch. We did a couple of partner exercises which led me to this condition. The first is a classic: one person stands upright with their feet spread apart while the other lies on their back with their head between the other's ankles, holding onto their lower legs. The person on the bottom swings both legs up toward the standing one's head, and the standing one reciprocates by shoving the legs back down to the floor. The feet aren't allowed to touch the floor again, of course. One variation includes raising the entire torso along with the legs. I actually find this variant a bit easier.

The other exercise is in-fucking-sane. One person lies on their back with knees bent, feet close to their butt. The partner sits in a kneeling position with their butt on their buddy's feet, holding their buddy by the back of the knees. The one on their back has to jettison themselves into standing position with their arms crossed on their chest. I did fifteen of these, and by the end, I was completely drenched with sweat.

Oh yes, and I skipped nonstop for seven minutes, and that after a minor asthma attack. That was probably the easiest part of the class. I've got to say, I'm surprised I can skip that long, because it always winded me before.

I've quit my gym membership, and I'm stronger than I thought, with better cardio-vascular endurance than I thought. Go me.

Want some links? I'll give you some links.

Tree Man Who "Grew Roots" May Be Cured: "An Indonesian fisherman who feared that he would be killed by tree-like growths covering his body has been given hope of recovery by an American doctor - and Vitamin A" (Thanks, Ken Donald).

Airworks Inflatables: Probably NSFW, as it's a giant, inflatable, tentacled twat.

Fear of Girls: Gamer comedy. It's funny because it's true (thanks,

schwartzung).

Our Ugliest Crime: Holly Exposes Child-Sex Trafficking: "The Israeli-born New York attorney was in the midst of a very long sabbatical, traveling around the world, when he found himself on the streets of Cambodia surrounded by a dozen young girls. 'I’m talking really little, like five to seven years old, who were aggressively soliciting me for prostitution.'"

Conclusive Proof - That There Is No God and Humans Are Essentially Evil: Would you go to a brothel to boff a shaved orangutan named Pony? Lots of people did (thanks,