"But how can anyone judge or love what he does not know?"

[shanmonster]

In the 1680s, John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester, penned an amazingly romantic piece of poetry:

Were all my body larded o'er,
With darts of love, so thick,
That you might find in ev'ry pore,
A well stuck standing prick;
Whilst yet my eyes alone were free,
My heart would never doubt,
In am'rous rage, and ecstasy,
To wish those eyes, to wish those eyes fucked out.

How could anyone resist that? I know I couldn't.

I am not a load of dirty fill to be dumped. Nope. Fuck that noise.

Link time.

Predator Pumpkin: Damn, but I wish I could carve like this. Amazing.

Mighty God King Versus His Adolescent Reading Habits: Classic sci-fi and fantasy novels retitled more appropriately. The Thomas Covenant book is especially spot-on.

Giant catfish 'devouring swimmers in river': "A giant catfish is eating swimmers in an Indian river after developing a taste for flesh by feasting on corpses." I want to watch the horror version of Okie Noodling.

Fort Pierce woman accused of shoplifting, brandishing a female sanitary napkin: “Both officers told her to drop the well-used and bloody female sanitary napkin, but the suspect refused,” the affidavit states. “I delivered a firm, lawful command to the suspect to drop the object and told her it was gross.”

Father-of-two can't get a job - because employers think he's 'too ugly': If he's not too ugly to father children, he's not too ugly to hire. Give the man a job, already.

New feathered dinosaur discovered: Worth it if only for the freaky pictures.

Giant spider eating a bird caught on camera: This is the stuff nightmares are made of, but not mine. My spider nightmare had miniature spiders filling me through every orifice, and devouring me from the inside out. This bird's got it easy.

Aaaagh!: Last, but not least, is a video that made me scream. It's SFW, but man....

Comments

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

Oh John Wilmot, you're so DREAMY.

I don't QUITE get it, it has to be said. He wants his own eyes fucked out? Someone else's eyes fucked out? Despite being so loved-up that his entire body is a mass of erections? It does seem rather ANGRY@!!! that's for sure.

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

Wait, the mighty google has answered that this is a chick talking.

It's nice to know that male fantasy about hot porno girls has not changed in 300 years.

[blastedheath.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but the Earl of Rochester there is satirizing the Libertine movement more than he is indulging it. There's part of an essay here (http://books.google.ca/books?id=UITcAsf_CpoC&pg=PA123&lpg=PA123&dq=wilmot+enjoyment&source=web&ots=wijhLvbzoJ&sig=GZ5ACPsBY5_xaTGcOm1aM2YfGuA&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=9&ct=result#PPA123,M1) that reads his 'Imperfect Enjoyment' poem as the work of a proto-feminist, acknowledging the existence of feminine desire, while taking the piss out of the iconic, hyper-virile male and consigning him to an STI-riddled fate.

Too bad that most of that petered out for the longest time, post-Restoration.

[sageincave.livejournal.com]

My cousin has a tumor condition like that. I'm pretty sure it limits his employability. People suck.

On the other hand, he just got married!