The Only One You'll Ever Get

[shanmonster]

I'm still recovering from a hell of a weekend where I got a crispy sunburned face. The last time I had a burn like this was over twenty years ago, I think. My nose is starting to shed, and I hope I'm not a lizard, because I don't like the thought of a larger nose lying beneath.

My workouts have been paying off. As of yesterday, I have decided the muscles are back. My legs are still thinner than they were five years ago, but they are not scrawny. They have definition again, and I am pleased that my hard work is paying off. My abs are also beginning to make an appearance again. I need to up my cardio to make 'em pop. I don't think I'll ever have a 6-pack. But I will get my 4-pack back. My arms have definition again, too, despite still being far too weak for my liking. 20-lb bicep curls shouldn't be my limit. Gosh! I'm back to doing 200-lb calf raises, and I'm going to keep upping them, because I'm not working to exhaustion. I wonder what my max will be?

I want to go back to a Monday/Wednesday/Friday routine, because my weekends are generally too full for workouts, and Tuesday/Thursday is insufficient, IMO. But I was just too exhausted from the sunburn on Monday to get my workout in. I guess this will be my short week, and then I'll be back to 3x a week beginning next week.

I had an interesting conversation with some people last week about body types. These people have extra weight on them. I'd call them overweight, but not obese. Just fluffy, if you know what I mean. In any case, they informed me that any time you can see ribs on someone, it is "disgusting." Since my ribs are visible when I expand them, my physique is disgusting in their eyes.

It brings me back to the time I was trying on a pair of shorts at a clothing store, and a heavier-set couple of women glared at me and called me disgusting, telling me I needed to eat a sandwich. I refrained from reciprocating in kind. But having been underweight before, I have to say, it's not just fat haters out there. There is a lot of animosity toward thin people, and I just don't understand.

I know I'm not underweight. I am in excellent physical condition, and I work my ass off to get myself that way. I've been fitter, and I'm working my way up to those previous levels. I've also been in poor physical condition before, and never want to be that way again. It feels terrible. It's exhausting. It's depressing.

I don't care if you're fat or if you're skinny. I care that you take care of yourself. I've known plenty of fit fat people, and plenty of unfit thin people, and vice versa. If you sit on your couch all day eating marshmallow Fluff from the jar, that's horrid. If you eat less than 1000 calories a day and chain smoke and run your ass off to keep your weight down, down, down, well, that's horrid, too. You're doing yourself an enormous disservice. Respect your body and take care of it. It's the only one you're ever going to get.

That being said, I have no idea what the hell is going on with this woman's abs. Any ideas? I've never seen that sort of bulge on anyone else before. Is it just unfortunate photoshopping, or does she have alien physiology? I mean, I've met a man before who had extra muscles in his calves. Maybe she has extra muscles in her erectus abdominus? Je ne sais pas.



In other news, I got yarn and knitting needles yesterday so I can teach myself how to knit socks. If all goes as planned, I'll knit while larping next weekend.

Link time.

The Wrath of the Killdozer: A story of vengeance, and a man pushed too far until he became a real-life supervillain.

Making a Single-Pole Pavilion: I'd really like to make this. Anyone wanna help?

German porn star Veronica Moser talks about her love for the porn industry: Wow. I'm ... I'm at a loss. Whatever you do, don't Google images of her, even with safe search on (thanks, tailchaser).

Lady Gaga's Allejandro video: Personally, I don't think she's an amazing singer, and her lyrics are generally terrible. Her dancing is meh, but getting better. Her stage shows are variable. But somehow, I am addicted to her videos. This one is gonna piss the Catholics off but good.

SA vultures under threat from brain-smoking gamblers: Some people will smoke anything.

Johnny Depp: Roman Polanski “is not a predator”: I am disappointed.

Nancy Luce: A poor, sad poet with a great love of chickens.

Girl Genius: Kaja and Phil Foglio's online comic about mad science, romance, and adventure. I'll have to give it a go once I'm through the housework.

Comments

[wyliekat.livejournal.com]

She looks like her stomach is about to start talking, a la Muppet Show.

[goth-hobbit.livejournal.com]

Oh, great. Now I'm picturing a scene from Hellboy 2, in the Goblin Market. "I'm not a baby; I'm a tumor."

[wyliekat.livejournal.com]

;-}

FEED ME SEYMOUR.

[ltmurnau.livejournal.com]

Great Jumping Jeebus, you are NOT 39.
I love me some chickens too, but not that way. I see Toronto has relaxed its bylaws about keeping chickens in backyards.
I haven't read Girl Genius, but I got a copy of the card game based on the comic recently and it looks interesting (based on the game mechanics of XXXenophile, another Foglio comic).
You may know this already, but Kazuo Ohno, one of the originators of butoh, died recently: http://www.dangerousminds.net/index.php/site/comments/rip_kazuo_ohno/

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Every time I think of the number associated with my age, I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you. I don't feel 39. I don't feel anywhere near old enough to have kids in university, but I am that old. But aside from my old lady joints and my shitty lungs, I feel BETTER than I did at 20. Maybe less invincible, but much stronger. But I do see the signs of age. My skin isn't as taut as it used to be, my hair is 60% grey, and I have wrinkles on my face.

Kazuo Ohno lived to be a seriously ripe age. I hope I double that.

[hamadryad11.livejournal.com]

It's cool that you want to start knitting socks. I knitted my first pair a few weeks ago, and they were fun to work on. Having discovered the joys of woolen socks, I think I'm going to have to knit a lot more.

If you haven't discovered Ravelry yet, I recommend it. Probably the most useful website for knitters ever created. There's a fairly sizable community of knitters in the region too, if you ever want to meet up with other people. There are knit and chats almost every night of the week, it seems.

And Girl Genius rocks. Truly.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

I keep hearing excellent things about Ravelry. I will check it out. I'm interested in knitting beautiful things. And as a total novice, I need all the help I can get.

[hamadryad11.livejournal.com]

If you want any in-person help, I'll volunteer. In the winter I started knitting again after a long break. It's been a bit addictive. Mostly I've been getting into socks and lace knitting.

On Ravelry you can find thousands of knitting patterns, a lot of them free. There's also a discussion forum, tools to keep track of your projects and yarn stash... and probably stuff I haven't even discovered yet. It's a great source of information.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Oh, that would be sweet. My roommate is learning to knit, too. We both want to make socks. I bought a knitting pattern yesterday for socks, but it may as well be written in hieroglyphics. Maybe you could come over sometime for tea and yarn!

[hamadryad11.livejournal.com]

That sounds wonderful! Or we could go to the pub and knit some time. Hell, we could do both. The summer is long.

Do you guys already know the basics of knitting, or are you starting from the very beginning?

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

I was shown how to do basic knitting, but it's been a while. I'm sure it would come back quickly. I picked it up pretty fast, in the first place.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Amelia knows a little more than I do, and I think has knit washcloths before.

[hamadryad11.livejournal.com]

Good, that makes it easier. Do you remember if you learned English/American style or Continental style?

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

No idea.

[hamadryad11.livejournal.com]

No big deal. We'll figure it all out. Ping me in messenger any time and we'll figure out when to do this. :D

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

I don't see you on Messenger, but how does Tuesday night work for you?

[hamadryad11.livejournal.com]

That explains why you haven't answered my pings! I think Tuesday evening would be OK. What time were you thinking of?

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Hmm. No, I didn't get any pings. My MSN is shanmonster at hotmail dot com. My Google Talk is shanmonster at g mail dot com.

I'll have to talk to Amelia to see what time is good for her, but my guess is after 7 pm.

[goth-hobbit.livejournal.com]

Girl Genius: prepare to be addicted. And don't be surprised if various bits of Jaeger-speak start popping up in your vocabulary.

KillDozer Guy: hey, I got to watch that one unfold live on local news. In between this dude, Alferd Packer, and the guy in Nederland who kept his dead grandfather frozen in a shed in the backyard, Colorado seems to get a more interesting class of malcontent weirdo that the rest of the country.

Alien Abs: the last time I saw something like that, Ripley was having a nightmare about being on the verge of getting ripped open by a chestburster. That's kind of disturbing.

As far as the age thing goes, I don't feel 42, and apparently I don't look anywhere near it, based on people's reactions. I know that I feel better and am in better shape than I was at 20, but I was still actively trying to starve myself to death back then. I could stand to tone up and drop some fluff (especially around the tummy), but I can't run the kind of miniature urban farm that my garden has turned into, and be badly out of shape. Hucking 50 pound bags of dirt around the yard won't allow it.

Over the years, I've come to two realizations about personal weight, fitness, and the reactions of the world. First off, I will never be truly skinny, and it took years to wrap my head around that one. There's nobody in my genetic inheritance to get it from. I have the figure of an early Edwardian professional beauty -- all boobs and badonkadonk, sans corset -- coupled with weightlifter density muscles. I probably won't ever have the definition that goes with those muscles without resorting to the old crazy, and that's just fine. If my fate is to look like a Waterhouse painting despite 200 crunches and an hour on the weight bench per day, so be it.

Second, I've realized that no matter how you (the multitudinous you, not the personal one) look, no matter what shape you're in, there will always be some jackass waiting in the wings to externalize their own self loathing at you by telling you that your weight and / or and body shape is wrong and disgusting. Generally speaking, it says more about the self-image of the hater than the appearance of the hate-ee.

[sageincave.livejournal.com]

Also disappointed in Johnny Depp. I can see his point that maybe it was a bit of a set-up, but

Argh, I'm trying to rationalize it. I also believe RP is not a danger to anyone now. It doesn't mean that he wasn't a danger, or that he's not guilty. Or that he shouldn't serve some time.

[crimsoncurrent.livejournal.com]

I'm staggered that anyone could make a comment about you 'needing to eat a sandwich', you are NOT underweight, far from it okay you have remarkably little fat on you but thats because your body is pure muscle. I work in a clothing store here in the UK and the last thing I'd say to someone with your physique would be something insulting at the risk of taking offence, I'm 90 lbs and at 5 7 I weight next to nothing, you could pick me up, snap me into and suck my bone marrow out! Believe me I know what being underweight is and have been struggling with it all my life you are definitely nowhere nr underweight.

I'd love to get a little muscle on me actually but over here its frowned on as unfeminine, in the USA its fairly common to see strong women, we are rather effete in comparison. I wish I could get the guts to actually start working out but I dont know where to start.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

I recommend http://www.stumptuous.com/ . It's a goldmine for women who are trying to figure out how to go about getting fit and strong.

Good luck!

I'm in Canada, and there is a bit of a stigma against women with muscle here, too. Women who go to the gym don't typically do it to get stronger, but to get thinner and to "tone" (which means nothing, as far as I can tell, other than the person is not stagnating on the couch).

For the most part, I see women on the cardio machines, and a powerful minority on the freeweights.

I've never been concerned about femininity/masculinity. But I'm a belly dancing tomboy, so go figure. My lines are pretty blurred. Doesn't stop me from looking girly in my sequins, though.