Inspiration

[shanmonster]

When I make requests to hang out or to search for people who would like to collaborate artistically with me, they invariably get ignored (except by people who live way too far away, alas). It's pretty apparent I am THAT girl. It's a good thing I am capable of keeping myself occupied and productive. But at the same time, if I have a B.O. problem, you'd tell me. Right?

.........

Words/concepts floating in my brain, devoid of context:

I spit bits into the ether. They immerse themselves in white noise.

A character named Meniscus Porter.

.........

When I was a student at the craft college, I maintained several scrap books of inspirational images: stuff which I could look at that would make my idling brain go into overdrive. I seem to have stopped doing that, if only because I don't really have access to a lot of magazines and such that I can clip images from. However, there's no reason why I can't do the same thing electronically, so now I want to start doing it again. The bonus is that with the internet, I have even more images to work from, and that I can also share these with a lot more people. Maybe you will find some of these images inspiring, too.

I also want to make a wish list of sewing patterns, and keep adding to it as I find things that make me go ooooh!

More to follow....

Comments

[mystress.livejournal.com]

Yeah. We have the distance problem with working together.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Someone needs to make inexpensive and safe transporter technology!

[mystress.livejournal.com]

Agreed.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

The problem is, as soon as I do, I'm going to be gallivanting all over the damn place, enjoying my massive, newfound wealth. ;-)

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

When I make requests to hang out or to search for people who would like to collaborate artistically with me, they invariably get ignored

Maybe people are intimidated by you. You're motivated, fit, articulate, and opinionated. You are, indeed, THAT girl, but it might be more of a "the woman who does everything more beautifully than you" angle rather than a "she is kinda freaky" thing.

I have a huge collection of Inspiration folders--all digital. Inspiration folders for costuming, for crafts, for real-life wardrobe, for visual journaling. It's awesome. I look forward to seeing what inspires you.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

I think people are intimidated by me for a variety of reasons. I was once told by a stranger that I "look violent." Other people have concurred with that statement. I suppose I look intent a lot of the time. Other people have told me that when they see me walking, I look like I'm going somewhere very important. And I am rarely accosted on the street by leering men, unlike other women I know. I guess that's a two-edged sword. But do I really look like I'm on the verge of going postal? Eesh.

I don't think I'm the one "who does everything more beautifully than you." I know so many extremely talented, skilled people. Because I don't specialize, I think I'm more of a Jane of all trades. So I do a lot of things decently, but not amazingly.

The last time I ever had a regular collaborative partner for creation was over ten years ago on the East coast with my old dance partner Barb. We both love solo work, but every now and then, it's really nice to work together on something. I miss that. But when I post that I'm looking for someone to work with, I may as well be talking to myself. Or people will express an interest, and then never actually do anything about it. It's disheartening. I want to do so many things, but a lot of them simply cannot be done on my own.

I think one of the biggest reasons I am as motivated and self-actuated as I am is because I grew up being THAT girl. I moved a lot as a kid, was definitely freaky, and had very very few friends. So it was either do things by myself, or sit and suffer in silence. People would pretend to be my friend just to mock me, doing stuff like saying, "Oh, I really like your shirt! Where did you get it?" and then go snicker to their friends when I believed them. And that kind of stuff still happens to me occasionally, even though I'd have thought people would grow out of that behaviour once they'd reached adulthood. Fuck the fucking fuckers.

And I hate it when people I've honestly thought were friends can't be arsed to return hospitality I've given to them.

Sorry this has turned into a rant. I'm just pretty frustrated, right now.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

I was once told by a stranger that I "look violent."

What. The. Fuck.

What is wrong with people? Geez.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Dunno. It was a shopkeeper at a clothing store. So odd.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Man. Me and my big fat mouth would've been tempted to say "You want me to do more than just look?"

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Hahahah!

[etcet.livejournal.com]

Brandishing some vicious pinking shears in an ominous manner, maybe?

I'll grant that you look intense and give off the "driven and determined" vibe, and that is not everyone's cup of tea (for whatever reason).

I don't know if you tip over into "intimindating" from "impressive" territory, but I've never met you in person. Then again, I tend to have a lot of friends and acquaintences who are far more skilled/adept at x, y, or z than I am, so it's not really a big deal.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

If I remember correctly, I was looking my usual self that day in camo and leather. But no weapons, other than my own legs and fists. I wasn't exactly walking around punching and kicking stuff, though. I remember I bought a pin. It said "Fight. Dance." I still have it, even though countless other pins have fallen off my stuff.

Personally, I *like* people to be driven. I enjoy lounging about and relaxing, too, but I find it inspiring to be around skilled and creative people.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

well, that's not exactly the most relaxed-seeming attire, especially with the pin as a new accessory. heh.

[professormass.livejournal.com]

"You look violent?"

That's a big, fat load of crap. I've met you in person, and the first thing I remember was your great big welcoming grin, and how much I was enjoying your company, and after, how sad I was that finances and life stress kept us from hanging out more.

If people are ignoring you, it's probably because of what chernobylred said -- they're intimidated by your competence and drive.

So fuck 'em! Who needs people like that, anyhow?

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Aw, thanks!

If it's intimidation, then I wish I could find people ballsy enough to not be scared off by little ol' me.

[professormass.livejournal.com]

Leave Waterloo. Come live in B.C. Mmm. Bee See.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

I have the most amazing dance training opportunities here, though. It's like dance mecca in Toronto.

[joannabarnum.livejournal.com]

I don't know you that well, but I wonder if it's not personal and more just the general problem that creative people tend to habitually have lots of tongs in the fire (or whatever that expression is?) at once- especially so the more talented and motivated an artist is. It's easy to express interest in a cool project, but a successful collaboration has twice as many moving parts that have to align correctly than does a solo project. That, and a lot of creative types are loners and/or control freaks when it comes to their creative ventures.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

I'm just finding a lot of people profess an interest, but lack the motivation to actually do anything about it. It was easier when I was in a city with a craft college. People were used to working hard to make things. Now, I'm finding a lot of people who expect instant gratification. :S

That, and working with artists is frequently like herding cats.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Last night, I'd been booked to model for a figure drawing class. No one showed up.

And after almost 20 years experience doing it, I know I'm a damned good figure model. Sigh....

[joannabarnum.livejournal.com]

That doesn't sound like your fault at all, that sounds like an issue with the particular class.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

No, I don't think it's my fault. It's just rather endemic for the area. I think the place is rather art-starved. A lot of people claim to be artistic, but don't actually do anything about it. It's sad.