Overheard in a Pub

[shanmonster]

Typing on my iPhone, so might end up with bad spelling and grammar, heaven forfend. I just had a tasty meal at a pub and overheard a conversation that boggled me with its foreignness. A young man and woman were out on a date. I think it was their first one. The man was saying how his greatest desire is to fit in and be like everyone else, and how it bothered him to see his friends getting promotions and more money than he was getting. The woman did not at all seem squicked by his drive to conform and be just like everyone else.

I thought about wanting to be like everyone else (or like anyone else at all), and I think the only time I ever had that notion was for a few months when I was 10 years old. I can't imagine how horrible it must be to value yourself strictly by the perceived values of other people. How very empty and depressing.

Comments

[icedrake.livejournal.com]

Admit it, you made the conversation up.

(with you on the foreignness)

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

I wish I did. It makes me sad that people like this really exist.

[ltmurnau.livejournal.com]

Sounds odd to my ears, but I remember when I was in high school how acutely aware I was of being different in so many ways and not liking it. However, I didn't want to be just like everyone else, it was more like I wanted to be the same as I was but not so bothered by it. Eventually I left high school (as everyone does, at least physically) and it didn't bother me so much anymore. But I see it in my son, who is 16 and different and I think wants to be invisible.

People like this do really exist, there are lots of them (otherwise what would they conform to?) but you don't often hear them admit it so candidly to each other, since part of conformity today is Being An "Edgy" Individual (Just Like All The Other "Edgy" Individuals). And I wonder why he is bothered by his freinds getting promotions and raises - was it because they fit in and conformed even better than he did, or because they somehow rose above the crowd? In a perfectly conformist society, no one would ever get promoted, I should think... at least it would be against their will ("No! No! Don't lift me out of the hive! Auuuggghhh...")

[admnaismith.livejournal.com]

Ah, there's a level at which each of us is a virtual Frosted Mini-Wheat, torn between the need to belong and the desire to be free.

Finding the balance of being true to yourself without ending up being shunned as some kind of pariah by people you care about is one of the fundamentals of a good life.

[zydee.livejournal.com]

I have no idea what to say. Just sayin'. It's a really existential speechlessness, since I did, after all, just say it. But still. Most people are really foreign to me, too. About all you can do is hope not to be the poor girl on the receiving end of that fellow's views.

Part of me really hopes she was just a fine actress and nodding and smiling to him while waiting to get back to Something Awful's E-Dating Megathread to share her shock with the class.

[mystress.livejournal.com]

. I can't imagine how horrible it must be to value yourself strictly by the perceived values of other people. How very empty and depressing.

Amen, sister.

squicked

[(Anonymous)]

Is squicked a Canadien word? Just asking. Also, the guy in the story is a lamo. He will get a raise.

Re: squicked

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Canadien? Unsure. I'm not a hockey fan.