Here We Go Again

Schoolwork has been keeping my updates to a minimum, but it hasn't slowed the perverts down! Check out November's notable search terms. Once again, I am amused.

* anthropophagy erotic picture (puts a whole new meaning to getting eaten out)
* cherry sauce nude (What? Without the New York cheesecake?)
* in the hallway, just after i missed a question on a math (This is obviously a clue to some great mystery)
* squirting clits (Is this what happens if you squeeze one too hard?)
* sticky stuff on skin phobia ("Yuck yuck yuck! Get it off me--it feels like snot!")
* turkey nudity (Raw and in the flesh: dead, nude turkeys!)
* vagina shapes (These might make good cookie cutter designs)
* dancing with a turkey on your head (A very obscure, traditional dance in Constantinople)
* animated dancing vagina (If someone finds this, I'd love to see it)
* calculus degree and toilet paper (A degree in math is good .... for me to poop on!)
* jesus semen beverage (Bread to flesh, wine to blood, and milk to ejaculate. The next logical step in transubstantiation)
* because skin hard (Call us when you find out. Get it? Call us : Callus. Oh, never mind....)
* menstrual slave (I'm one no more, now that I have a Keeper! Hoorah!)
* moose nude page (Check out the rack on that one....)
* the camel clits (Is this a punk band, or what?)
* kung fu good one tit rib (I don't think I've ever learned this one at the kwoon)
* Shakespeare slash (Marlowe gazed hungrily at Shakespeare. "Forsooth! The way you move in those tight pants, I know from where you obtained your surname!" And with a flounce and a smile, Shakespeare waggled his groin at Marlowe.)
* need someone to go to bed with my wife (Don't ask Shakespeare. He's busy with Marlowe.)
* nude witch magic turkey (Now there's a story!)
* pigeon disease recipes (Take one part cholera, two parts corn kernel, and sprinkle liberally on Trafalgar Square.)
* find a picture of a monster with a pale yellow skin (Then give it a liver transplant.)
* Mary Kate and Ashley how they got their periods on the vagina (Someone obviously hasn't had the plumbing lesson in health class, yet.)
* stick a butternut squash dildo (Stick it where? Nowhere near me, I hope. Those suckers are big!)
* swallowing semen is nutritious (More so than simply gargling it, I suppose.)
* little breast upskirt (Why is a breast wearing a skirt?)
* how deep does the needle go? (When I go to the dentist, the freezing needle impales my skull.)
* pictures only of nudity in america (Because no one wants to see naked pictures of nonAmericans.)
* do mary-kate and ashley olsen wear contact in their eyes? (No, they wear them in their rectums.)
* nude milkshake (Like nude moose, nude turkey, and nude cherry sauce. I'm getting hungry.)
* http://www. give me bigfoot .com/ (Someone obviously doesn't understand how URLs work.)
* doughnut pottery yarn (WTF?)

Vroom Vroom Vroom

I've suffered all night with absolutely crippling stomach cramps. I shuffle around the house like Ozzy Osbourne, because I can't stand up straight, and can't walk upright. I'm feeling a bit better now. I still don't know what sets these bouts off, but at least they're not daily like they were a decade ago.

Blargh!

In other health-related news, my big toe couldn't be broken. It feels almost completely back to normal. Of course, it's still swollen, but that's nothing new. It's been distended for about four years, now. Jeez louise.

My current project at school is yet another dance belt, and possibly even another dance bra. If my tummy wasn't so sore, I'd be crawling around on the floor plotting out my sewing. But it'll just have to wait. This project is for my surface design class. I've found a simple way to make a really spectacular bedlah. It will look almost like soft, textured armour. I'll post pictures when it's done, along with photos of the last couple of projects. We just need to get f00 to take their pictures while I'm modelling 'em!