Time to Have a Dump

My browser tabs have outnumbered us. They're surrounding me, and I'm afraid they'll attack. They only thing I can do is take them out one at a time.

So here goes....

Bizarre Sex Organs: Unless you are a supreme masochist, this bug dick might be enough to scare you off sex forever (thanks, tdj).

Cryptie: I don't remember why I went looking for the forklift-riding goth, but I found him again. Cryptie, are you still out there? Do you still drive a forklift?

Knitted homes of crime: Some people don't knit socks and scarves. Some people knit the homes of female serial murderers.

Man Sport Shoes: The title doesn't really say much. But you really need to watch this. This guy turns himself into a luge. Or a skateboard. Or some sort of hybrid. I want one of those suits (thanks, f00dave).

Seat: This is a man chair.

Teeth: I want to see this. It's a movie about a good little Christian girl who finds out she has vagina dentata (thanks, Bradford).

Teletubbies Porn?: SFW, but not safe for your mind.

Demon Fetus Birth: This made me shout, "What the Jesusly fuck?!"

The 50 Greatest Sex Scenes in Cinema: I think they're right, if only because my favourite sex scene made it in their top five (Mulholland Drive).

To gain muscle and lose fat, drink milk: I wonder if cheese counts? I sure do love me some cheese.

'Radioactive Boy Scout' Charged in Smoke Detector Theft: If for no other reason, check this out for the photo. Wow.

Ahh. My browser feels much lighter, now....

I can't be drunk. I have too much blood left!

So here's the dealio. I'm in a transcendental state, game isn't on for the night, but Wrath of Khan is. KHAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!

Yes.

Beer is in my system. So is stuff that's not beer.

My typing is sure to atrophy. My thought processes are sure to become estranged.

I didn't use that last word at all properly, but I like it that way. I'm not very nice. I scream at Dave. But he molests me, anyway.

Go away, Dave! I don't want to be "preoperly molested in months."

Uh oh. My typing shas already begun to leak.

Dave is laughing at me. And he's holding a beer and cinnamon flavoured mouth rape.

"Rape rape rap I'mve been raped" 0- Dave being silly.

Oh look. An emoticon hyphen angel. /\ (That's an arrow pointing up. Look up a line. There. See?)

Someday, I should try writing fiction while inebriated. Uh oh. My spelling is getting better again. Do I have any Strongbow ledft? <-- Typo!!! STRONGNOB!!!