Jan. 17th, 2011

Untitled

Jan. 17th, 2011 03:09 pm
shanmonster: (Zombie ShanMonster)
When my first thought
is of your completely naked
body, almost touching my
stretching skin...

I know that lust and love
are two separate hands,
floating in parallel motion,
occasionally gripping the other.

- by Douglas Gibson
shanmonster: (Tiger claw)
The first time I ever heard of detoxing, I thought it was what you did when you accidentally ate poison. Then I came to understand it as what a drug or alcohol addict did when they were turning their bad habits around.

But now, detox is a catch-all phrase usually associated with a bewildering assortment of quack treatments and equipment, which can ultimately have a deleterious effect on your wallet, or possibly even your health.

One of the pieces of detox equipment I see advertised at many places now is a so-called ion detoxification foot bath, which is touted as drawing toxins out of your body through the pores of your feet. The treatments are usually quite expensive, and are certainly showy. Clean water turns into a murky sludge as all those bonbons, nicotine, red food colouring, and god knows what else you may have imbibed, get drawn into the water, leaving you a bastion of health and clean living (until your next trip to McDonald's).



People who take this treatment claim to experience the following amazing benefits:
  • reduced arthritic pain
  • weight loss
  • increased energy and mental clarity
  • improved memory
  • reduced stress and mood swings
  • healthier, younger looking skin
  • significant pain relief
  • greater overall sense of well being
  • alkalizing pH levels
  • lowered cholesterol
  • lowered blood pressure

(taken verbatim from a pamphlet for the 3 in 1 FIT System by Hl4Y)

How does it do these wonderful things? The purveyors of such devices claim it detoxes you via osmosis.

Now, if this worked, it would be a helluva thing. But it's all showmanship. Seriously, if you put an organically-grown, platonic ideal of a carrot in that foot bath, the water will still turn into something that looks like sewage run-off. And we know that carrot has not been living a dissolute lifestyle. So what the fuck, mate? Why does the water do that thing?

Well, bucko, because of science. More specifically, it happens because of electrolysis.

Electrolysis isn't just the cosmetic practice of zapping hairs out of your body. According to Word Net, it's "a chemical decomposition reaction produced by passing an electric current through a solution containing ions."

You can read a description of how this machine uses electrolysis to produce this murky water here, but essentially, the electrical current reacts with the metals in the water to cause oxidization (basically, rust). Depending on the metals used, and the additives put into the water, you'll get different colours.

Now, I'm not averse to a foot bath. I sure do like a good foot soak. It is a very relaxing thing. But I am not fooling myself into thinking that my foot bath is negating my poor lifestyle choices (bad food, smoking, etc.).

If there's anything that detoxes your body, it's your kidneys and your liver. They filter the crap out of your system for you. If you really want to detoxify yourself, stop toxifying yourself in the first place.

These detox treatments are the quackery equivalent of selling indulgences. I have more to say about so-called detox cleanses, but more on that later. I have a dance class to teach soon.

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